hop in and enjoy the ride

There's always

2010-08-08T22:42:00.000+08:00

...a little truth behind every "just kidding",
...a little knowledge behind every "I don't know",
...a little emotion behind every "I don't care",
...and a little pain behind every "it's okay"..

Hello

2010-04-13T03:30:00.005+08:00

So, yeah. Have been MIA-ing for a while. Truth is, at one point I got really uncomfortable with how the internet trespasses almost, if not all, boundaries of privacy. Heck I was even seriously contemplating whether or not to deactivate my FB account. Talk about paranoia. Lol.

There is actually another reason: I seem to always find myself at this never-ending crossroad in life. I don't really know how to explain it but it's like almost every other day I'd wake up feeling moody and insecure cos I don't really know what I want, how I feel, what to think, etc. There's always this ongoing battle inside of me where a part of me is really thankful for all that I have and wants to make the best out of where I am now but these feeling never last cos up came this other evil part of me which is always unsatisfied, hard to please and angry.

:(

I hate feeling this way and I don't want to be feeling this way cos it's eating me up. I don't really like me sometimes. That's why I've gone AWOL cos I didn't think I was in the position to write wtf. I really really hope that this is just a phase.

This is just a phase.
This is just a phase.
This is just a phase.
This is just a phase.
This is just a phase.
This is just a phase.

It should work. Right?

p/s: To my sisters and best friends, sorry I was so detached for quite some time. Promise will make it up to you :)

2010-02-10T02:28:00.003+08:00

Today, like any other, has been another could have.

Sorry that I don't write like I used to anymore.

I'm tired. Just so very tired.

And time. I need more time, lotsa time, cos enough never really seem to be enough.

Faith

2010-01-23T14:56:00.013+08:00

Of the many emails that I receive, this has got to be my #1 all-time favourite.

-------

Meet Faith the walking dog

This dog was born on Christmas Eve in the year 2002. He was born with 2 legs - He of course could not walk when he was born. Even his mother did not want him.

His first owner also did not think that he could survive and he was thinking of 'putting him to sleep'.
But then, his present owner, Jude Stringfellow, met him and wanted to take care of him.
She became determined to teach and train this little dog to walk by himself..
She named him 'Faith'..

In the beginning, she put Faith on a surfboard to let him feel the movement.
Later she used peanut butter on a spoon as a lure and reward
for him for standing up and jumping around.
Even the other dog at home encouraged him to walk.
Amazingly, only after 6 months, like a miracle,
Faith learned to balance on his hind legs and to jump to move forward.
After further training in the snow, he could now walk like a human being.

Faith loves to walk around now.
No matter where he goes, he attracts people to him.
He is fast becoming famous on the international scene and
has appeared on various newspapers and TV shows.
There is now a book entitled 'With a Little Faith' being published about him.
He was even considered to appear in one of Harry Potter movies.

In life there are always undesirable things, so in order to feel better
you just need to look at life from another direction.
I hope this message will bring fresh new ways of thinking to everyone
and that everyone will appreciate and be thankful for each beautiful day.
Faith is the continual demonstration of the strength and wonder of life.

-----

Amazing, isn't it?

If a dog can do it, beating the odds when the impossible was almost impossible, so can we.

So can I!

First 2010 post!

2010-01-07T21:55:00.014+08:00

Hey peeps!

Gosh I really did the whole mia thing huh? Sorry because as lame as it sounds, I was actually busy! LOL

Anywayyy guess what greeted me today when I log in to my blog account..........

......
......
......
......
......
......
......

THIS!!!

Okay, so fine, it's not the exact format plus there's also JieChi's uhm *patronizing* uhm comment. Haha! Jie, I suppose Kelsen means things are or going to be good?

These comments to me are like the holy grail of amateur blogging la! Cos I really didn't expect any other people besides those handful ones to know bout this. *points around* So they (c0mments) really took me by surprise *shy

It's so weird though that all the commentators should go by the pseudonym of 'Anonymous' and that they all appear at this post. But whatever reasons they may be, THANK YOU ALL for the wonderful comments! They really made my day :)))) Cos I've never regarded my posts to be creative or original *sniffs Well obviously it IS original cos they're all my ramblings and heartfelt pour-outs but what I mean is original in the sense of authors/writers' kind of literature originality. Ya know? And! To think that the person who left the last comment actually took the liberty to read my old posts as well....boy I must be really interesting! Haha =D

To all you anonymous-es, please, do leave your names as well in future yeah?

Okay, enough of the comments hooha. Moving on...

You know, Christmas wasn't so bad after all though the days leading up to it were pretty depressing. The KL trip which was suppose to be a relaxing getaway and catching ups with the bestfriends was more like bah humbug. Those well-meaning but annoying aunties just *had* to make me feel so guilty about not joining carolling. Cis. And there's also some....stuff. Sigh.

Anyway here's a couple of photos from the morning service.

Girls I practically grew up with <3

We used to be smaller than him!

Cooked dinner and I'd give it a 7/10 cos the roast was fantastic (and the sauce too!) but the kedegree was an epic fail. Haha! Luckily chicky saved the day cos if not it'll be like disastrous Christmas dinner 101. LOL. Both recipes are from Jamie Oliver's website and can be easily found though I did improvise a bit on the roast. Hehe. So now I present to you....Christmas dinner ala Jamie Oliver plus desserts by the mom:

Goodness in the making.

This is really horrible, even by my standard. Dunno why it turned out like that even though I followed the recipe as closely as possible. Sigh.

The ice-cream cake which isn't really ice-cream cake. It's frozen sponge cake + cream + blueberry filling. Yummerz~

Homemade mango pudding. Classic favourite <3

So yea, that pretty much sums up Christmas for me.

The new semester has started and gosh I hope that I've really learned my lesson this time and buck up! All the more cos I'm starting my fyp this sem. Oh God! Finally confirmed my supervisor and title yesterday and guess what I'm doing! Telecommunications! It's wireless mesh networking with cryptography actually but even now I'm starting to get the jitters already cos I have to learn the C language all over again. And, "cryptography - study and practice of hiding information" does sound intimidating, no?

I think I'll just have to stop here cos the internet has gone mental, again T____T

Short note

2009-12-13T23:41:00.002+08:00

Dear memoirsofalifetime.blogspot.com,

Hi, how are you? Sorry for being the lousy negligent owner, again. It's not like I do not have the time to write because really, I've been bumming around doing practically nothing for more than a week already. So, what's my excuse this time round? Sheer laziness? Or perhaps the lack of inspiration? Gosh, I really dunno but heck time flies so fast that at my current stamina it's so hard to keep up.

I have wanted to do a post to wrap up sem 5 but looks like that post is never going to materialize now at this rate wtf. I went to Penang and Singapore and wanted to do posts on my holidays too but hell I don't think they're going to happen as well. But I think I have some photos from Penang up in my draft so I think I shall just publish that later.

12 more days to Christmas and yet again this year I am feeling nothing of the festive season. Heck the Christmas tree in my house is not even up yet. Why is it that as we grow older the significance of Christmas seem to fade? To the extent that Christmas feels like just any other day? I remember I used to be so excited about Christmas; the decorations, the gifts, caroling, family, friends...everything! But this year? I can't help but feel that it's gonna be one of those days again. Sigh.

Do you think that if I psycho myself into believing that this year's Christmas would be a great one it'll really be a great one? *hopeful

xoxo,
Jessy

Some pics from Penang

2009-11-27T00:42:00.013+08:00

Saint Xavier Church (I think)

Francis Light Memorial

And I thought only Taiping has beeyootiful trees like this -__-

One of the very few successful shots by Mei Yen haha wtf

By the sea!!! duh obviously -___-

We have a similar one in Taiping too!

Them ang mohs really love their grass

Who'd think that there'd be horses smacked right in the city

I took this shot! Nice~

So many things to blog about yet so little time

2009-11-26T00:49:00.001+08:00

(Read: lazy)

An angry girl is a hungry girl

2009-11-08T23:58:00.004+08:00

This is what I found in my memo inbox today:

Salam
Syukur alhamdulillah di sini saya ade sedikit perkongsian ilmu..
Dah lama saya terfikir!!! Susah jugak jd perempuan nie semua kena tutup..mesti panas kan dah la kna pakai tudung sehingga menutupi dada , pakai baju labuh , stoking. biar Nampak muka ngn tapak tangan jer Tapi adakah kejadian yang Allah buat nie saje2??? Hmm itulah yang kaum wanita perlu cari jawapan nya banyak hikmah di sebalik tiap apa yang Allah suruh kita buat.. kalau kita tengok kenapa wanita di suruh di tutup sebegitu dan di larang memakai pakaian yang menampakkan susuk badan, ini semua kerana apabila kaum lelaki melihat mereka, kaum lelaki tidak ternaik nafsu atau keghairahannya..
Tapi kalau kita lihat kaum wanita zaman sekarang, hanya berapa kerat sahaja yang betul2 menutup aurat mereka..mungkin ada di antara mereka tidak tahu ataupun mereka saja2 x mahu ambil kisah akan hukum2 yang Allah telah tetapkan. Nauzubillah.. Penulis lihat situasi di ump ramai kaum wanita yang x pakai tudung dan setokin.Maybe mereka rasa benda nie simple atau kaum lelaki x pandang ke rambut dan kaki mereka..Jangan langgar ketetapan Allah.Jika Allah tetapkan begitu maka begitulah kita kena buat..InsyaAllah jika kita ikut apa yang Allah suruh dan tinggal apa yang Allah larang insyaAllah kita akan mendapat keredhaan Allah..Memang agak susah jika sentiasa kna pakai stokin..setiap kali nk kluar bilik kna pakai stokin..saya x nafikan tetapi semua ini atas kehendak Allah.. Jika kita rasa diri kita ini hebat maka langgarlah perintah Allah ini InsyaAllah bala akan menanti..Memang kita boleh kata dr dulu lagi kita x pakai stokin tapi x de ape2 bala pun..Tapi kita kena ingat dugaan yang Allah bagi bukan buat masa sekarang sahaja tapi masa depan kita..mungkin juga akan kena pada anak cucu kita
Justeru itu para sahabat2 sekalian..mari lah kita muhasabah diri kita balik.. di sini saya sertakan pantun tuk pembaca2 sekalian..

Perempuan pakai mini sekerat,
suka pakai baju ketat,
suka pula menunjukkan pusat,
hingga x pedulikan lagi batasan aurat,
pakai pulak yang sendat2,
kadang-kadang Nampak yang tersirat,
x kira bujur x kira bulat,
bila dah macam 2, sape lihat pasti tercegat,
bila dah tercegat, silap gaya jadi gawat,
bila dah jd gawat, bosia bohjan lagi dahsyat,
duduk jauh berkirim surat,
bila berjumpa tangan berjabat,
pas2 pakat lawan peluk erat2,
mse 2 nafas naik tersekat-sekat,
usah di pedulilah agama dan adat,
usah di takuti Allah dan malaikat,
yang penting apa kita nak buat kita buat,
akhirnya bila dah buat perut kempis jadi bulat,
bila perut kempis jadi bulat, maka tunggulah lahir anak yang x ckp sifat,
maka kita akan lihat bayi dibuang merata tempat,
bila bayi dibuang merata tempat, maknanya iblis ketika itu mula melompat,
pas2 iblis berkata habis manusia dah msk jerat,
habis manusia telah tersesat,
Inilah dia fenomena masyarakat,
Oleh itu wahai saudara saudari dan para sahabt,
Marilah kita pakat mengingat,
Bahawa dunia hari ini semakin singkat,
Esk atau lusa kita mungkin akan menghadapi hari kiamat,
Sampailah masa kita semua akan berangkat,
Berangkat menuju ke Negara akhirat,
Disana kita akan ditanya apa yang kita buat ,
Masa itu sendiri mau ingat,
Umur mu banyak mana mu beribadat,
Zaman muda mu apa yg telah mu buat,
Harta benda anta dr mne anta dapat,
Ilmu anta adakah anta manfaat,
Semoga ia dapat mengingatkan kita supaya meninggalkan maksiat,
Dan memperbanyakkan ibadat serta banyakkan bertaubat.

---------

WTF is this???!!! Are you trying to say that it's women's fault that you can't keep your stick in your pants??!! Bloody shit! Then I suppose you very well don't deserve to be called a man! Not even fit to be called an animal cos at least animals know to court/woo before mating. And please, you can take your self-righteousness and shove it up your ass! Who knows....people like you are the very ones who jerk off to pornos when they think no one is watching. GTH la you!

What utter rubbish! Brr~

*****

Shorties...a mishmash of everything!

2009-11-03T04:26:00.011+08:00

At the rate my hair is dropping, I'd be so bladdy bald soon! Can't say it's the stress, though it should very much be seeing that my finals is in few days time, cos I'm as relaxed as ever -__- Food perhaps? Or maybe I'm using the wrong shampoo? But I'm using Asience le...supposedly specially formulated for Asian. Brr!

*****

Should I move to wordpress? Cos they have that password protect function and also emoticons to choose from....

*****

I find myself to be much happier when I surround myself with people whom I love and sharing their happy instead of concentrating on my sappy woes. I guess you can really find happiness when you take the focus off yourself ;)

*****

I've had three wonderful meals last week- beef fajitas, steamboat and seafood marinara. Yums! A little bit the overindulging but it's been such a long time I've had such nice meals so I suppose it's okay. Hehe. But now have to ikat perut la ;p

*****

I can't believe it's only less than 3 weeks before the semester break starts! Can't wait can't wait!

*****

Who else is going to be my teman to church next sem, now that Janice is going off for her industrial training? Haih like I need any more reasons to feel awkward... T__T

*****

I am so so salivating over these dresses!!! Want. Them. All.

*****

And last but not least...

Crazy little thing called LOVE

2009-10-31T04:55:00.002+08:00

How do you know you're in love?

Is it the warm fuzzy feeling you get which sends a tingle up your spine whenever you think of that person? Or perhaps when you know you're trying too damn hard to maintain your cool when actually you're dying for that person to notice you?

And how do you know if a person is into you? Is there a guide as to how to pick up the signs? Haih but being such a blur case in 'signal reception' doesn't help much >.<"

At this point I dunno if I am ready for it, or ever will.

But you know, it's really tiring playing this whole cat and mouse game.

And then it dawned upon her

2009-10-30T15:43:00.002+08:00

Sheesh! It didn't occur to me that yesterday was my last day of lectures until I was on the bus back to Gambang! Not that I'm not happy or anything...in fact I am ECSTATIC!! Woots no more bbooorrriinnggg classes =D

HOLIDAY HERE I COME!!!

Am so looking forward to it and gosh I think I need to come up with a holiday plan quick!

Oh shoots. I forgot momentarily bout the finals part -___-

What's this points around supposed to be

2009-10-19T23:44:00.004+08:00

So what's this *points around again* supposed to be is a journal to channel my frustration, anger and whatever negativity which cannot/hard to show to people- because no matter how much people like to ask how are you blablabla all they really hope to hear is "I'm fine thank you how about you" so that they can drone on and on about what-nots which is the very reason they start that conversation.

Which is why, in the very beginning almost no ones knows of the existence of this 'personal' space. I like the term personal space better cos I feel that 'blog' is too commercialized even though nothing is personal on the net *shrugs. So back to what I was saying, over time I began to open up a little. But! what it seem to have only done is restrict myself even more from letting my thoughts flow freely and is now reduced to boring what-I-dids. It has made me very self-conscious on what I write, how I write because I am just scared of what people think of me. What if I'm not exactly what they have thought me to be?! Gosh I dunno man. It's not like I am pretending or anything...just that you know how people like to paint those nice, quaint little pictures of you and thinks that you are still like that little girl in that picture when clearly you have overgrown that little girl? Why is everyone so critical? Sigh.

I am not happy and I am not gonna lie about that. Been angry, sad, frustrated and disappointed for a while and prolly still will go on for a while. Why is it so hard for me to be happy when all this while I have always been labeled as the happy-go-lucky one? Oh right, please refer to the above. I always get a lot of those motivational emails from Uncle Millan and Gabriel and all always say the same thing- that happiness is when you are able look beyond the imperfections, or something along the line. It's not like I do not have enough (in fact I'm blessed with more than enough) but there's always this kind of melacholy which keeps on tugging at my heart. And sometimes I am so pulled down by it that all I wanna do is to hide in a corner and cry for what it's worth. Tired and drained, unmotivated, listless, without passion.... and I do not know what to do.

Well, this semester's ending in exactly a month time and that's something to look forward to. In the meanwhile wish me luck as I continue to find my happy.

How my blog almost became a forgotten love child

2009-10-19T01:32:00.013+08:00

Assignments, reports and my MicroC project have been and still are creeping up T___T Can't wait for the end of this semester but at the same time sssooooo not looking forward to the impending finals! Argh! Fuck this shit!

So it's been quiet around lately and to show that I do still have a life.....here are some going-ons a little before raya till now.

Surprise birthday cake for Nabilah at the beach! Hence the surprised reaction. Duh, obviously -.-

Met up with the girls during the raya break. It was lovely and how I wish all of us are near each other so that we can do this more often. The other day I chatted a while to Rachel on msn and it made me realise how much I've missed her that it makes me wanna cry T___T But! But! But!!! Plans are already on the way to meet again this year end I am so excited I can't wait cos by then Lydia and Shirley would be around too!

Bunny Koko drove us a whole freaking hour to this kelong place for seafood when I went to JB last raya break. And it's not even that nice -.-" But I enjoyed the journey though cos we had to pass by the industrial area and I saw Titan! Damn impressive wei.

Say hello to Nicky and Celion! My godnephew and niece! You do no know what monster really is until you've met them. Naughty is such an understatement. *shudders at memories

Cute fishies at the kelong restaurant! It's so funny cos whenever anyone stands in front of the aquarium they'd all come hurdling to the front. Haha!

Caged monkeys. How it wraps its young tightly, protecting it from the peering eyes and chilly night really touched me. If only all the mothers in the world are like this... So if next time anyone asks what is good parenting you can say, "Mun-keh!" wtf

Went to this really nice art cafe with the randomest of randoms decors. I love their quirky and unique designs and the fact that it's in an old nyonya like shophouse adds to its plus point! Highly recommended for romantic chillaxing night outs cos the cosy ambience and nice jazz/bossa nova (think Lina Ono) playing in the background really sets the mood. Ahh if only I have a special someone to share it with... Snap out of it yo!

Saw this really interesting bicycle man hanging on the ceiling in front of a bicycle shop. What a smart way to advertise huh! The dummy is even cycling!

RM2 sushi with coursemates! Okay not really cos it's civil meet E&E. Lol. Cleared a grand total of 91 plates and we E&E peeps beat them by 1 plate! ONE!!!

Finally tried out the kononnya famous nasi dagang in Kuantan. First heard of it from Uncle Millan and after some googling (as in google-ing, geddit?), voila~~ Nasi Dagang Ubai peeps!

Wow my life damn happening hor?!

Okay back to vhdl now o->--<

2009-10-03T03:54:00.002+08:00

Hello everybuddy! It's been so long since I last posted something substantial because I am always either A)lazy, B)busy or C)lazy wtf

But seriously, this week has been one hell of a week what with everyday being an endless string of assignments/projects/reports. No thanks to my being a world class procrastinator during my 2 weeks break T___T

Been sleeping an average of 4 hours each day so tgi Friday! Cos I don't have classes on Fridays hence I get to catch up on my beauty sleep =D

So anywayyy everything's pretty much monotonous because on days when I have to go to Pekan for lectures by the time I'm back in Gambang I'd be half sleep-walking. Why the stupid university wants us to go there to study even though the whole construction is not done yet baffles me. Just my luck that my faculty and mech eng faculty kena T___T

For the past few days I've had to take the 6ish bus and then come back around 5/6 pm. Rest, dinner and then homework until 2/3 am. It's a vicious cycle everyday *pouts Why am I so ke lian?

Ok so maybe this post isn't very substantial after all cos I'm gonna just stop abruptly here cos it's almost 4.30 am and I'm tired.

At least you know I'm still alive and kicking wtf

Goodnight everybuddy!

Wedding Gift

2009-09-26T21:33:00.015+08:00

The Story of the Pencil

2009-09-07T02:06:00.003+08:00

A boy was watching his grandmother write a letter. At one point, he asked:
'Are you writing a story of what we've done? Is it a story about me?'
His grandmother stopped writing her letter and said to her grandson:
'I am writing about you actually, but more important than the words is the pencil I'm using. I hope you will be like this pencil when you grow up.'
Intrigued, the boy looked at the pencil. It didn't seem very special.
'But it's just like any other pencil I've ever seen!'
'That depends on how you look at things. It has five qualities which, if you manage to hang on to them, will make you a person who is always at peace with the world.
'First quality: you are capable of great things, but you must never forget there is a hand guiding your steps. We will call that hand God, and He always guides us according to His will.
'Second quality: now and then, I have to stop writing and use a sharperner. That make the pencil suffer a little , but afterwards, he's much sharper. So you, too, must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows, because they will make you a better person.
'Third quality: the pencil always allows us to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes. This means that correcting something we did is not necessarily a bad thing; it helps to keep us on the road to justice.
'Fourth quality: What really matter in a pencil is not its wooden exterior, but the graphite inside. So always pay attention to what is happening inside you.
'Finally, the pencil's fifth quality: it always leaves a mark. In just the same way, you should know that everything you do in life will leave a mark, so try to be conscious of that in your every action.'

-Paulo Coelho's Like the Flowing River

2009-08-19T01:20:00.006+08:00

Bloody hell! The wireless here is so frigging slow that I couldn't even do a proper post T___T

I've recently discovered the joy of photoshop and lookie up there *points up*

IT'S A NEW HEADER! My first photoshop product! =DDD

Anywayyy I've got so much to write about but since the wireless is such a bitch I don't know when will that post materialize. Lol.

2009-08-14T23:01:00.014+08:00

Hey y'all!

When I was changing the header yesterday only did I realise that I've been spelling 'hop' as 'hope' T____T Walau eh damn malu sia! Hope in and enjoy the ride? Wtf makes no sense. Didn't anyone realised this silly honest mistake before? Proves that no one really cares bout this blog *sad

Anywayyy Tua Chi's finally married! And I've got a che foo now! It feels kinda weird calling him che foo maybe cos I've so used to calling him CK (not Calvin Klein haha wtf). The wedding was really very nice and touching though I feel I really x1000000 sucked as the emcee *looks down and kicks sand* Tua Chi and CK....oops it's che foo....please don't kill me! LOL.

My favourite part of the evening has certainly got to be whole speech thing by CK and his surprise song! It's ssoooo amazing cos not only do they both share the same birthday and chinese zodiac (cocks!! no pun intended hehe) but they also coincidently chose the same songs! Yep, Tua Chi had a surprise performance for him too. So cute! Are they fated to be together or are they fated to be together? Really happy for both of them cos there's just so much love between them!

Here's some photos from my new camera (more bout that later). There are many more but as usual the wireless' PMSing so next time then. Edited using photoshop!

Mr and Mrs Yau

Hey sister, go sister, soul sister

Legally wedded ;)

One of the two wedding favours. It's actually salt and pepper shaker but when you put them together they hug each other. Cute!

It was also their birthday! The hotel was really sweet to send up a free (!!!) birthday cake for them. Very nice~

One more slice, pretty please?

2009-07-24T22:41:00.007+08:00

To my only younger sibling, the one who calls me Sa Chi, Ginny's 'kai ma', bearer of the family jewel (lol!)......

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELVIN!

I wish for you... the fulfillment of your ambitions/hopes/dreams, to discover the passion in you, to experience life at its fullest splendor, and most importantly to grow up as who God has made you to be.

All the best for PMR!

Love,
Sa Chi

2009-07-22T20:42:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling rather troubled now.

My group has been given the task to present on the topic 'Challenges to national unity and ways to overcome them' for my Ethnic Relations class next week which carries a whopping 10% of our final grades. The thing is, how can I truly deliver my presentation at my very best when I know what I am bound to present are bullshits; a beautiful facade hiding the rough waters beneath it. I cannot really bring myself to say all those lies cos everybody knows what the situation is like here in Malaysia. Like, duh! Ammendments may have been made to the Akta Universiti & Kolej Universiti where now politics is not considered a 'sensitive' issue anymore as long as it is for educational purposes but you just wouldn't know if suddenly the lecturer do not like what you say and then decided that you're trying to incite hate etc. T____T

Haih, now I need to go read up on all those dasars and what-nots in case I got drilled by En Roselan. I like him, I really do (but after En Nik la) but sometimes I feel very intimidated by his power questions. History and legal stuffs are just not my forte le! But I still like his style of lecture which is more of a two-way communication instead of the students being the passive listeners. Hehe.

2009-07-20T01:57:00.006+08:00

Dearest Jie Chi,

For the foodie in you and the ability to maintain such a slim figure even with all the food binging,

for how you are an interesting person and there is never a dull moment with you around,

for the fashionable vain pot that you are and can look good in just about anything,

for the kindheartedness and generous spirit in you,

and for everything else that you are....I just wanna wish you a very

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Have fun in Bangkok =)

*hugs and kisses*

2009-07-16T00:54:00.010+08:00

Substance over Rhetoric, people!

When will they ever get that?

2009-07-13T10:45:00.003+08:00

I can't believe it.

Tua Chi's getting married in less than a month! In 29 days to be exact!

I wonder how those siblings out there cope with this 'trauma' cos it sure feels weird that it's no longer gonna be just Tua Chi, but Tua Chi AND CK. Like she comes in a package. And it's either both or none O_O

Don't get me wrong, I am happy for her, for both of them, but it feels just odd. Macam lah I'm losing a sister T_T

*****

Anywayyy guess what I got yesterday!

.
.
.
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Tadah!!

2009-07-11T12:46:00.007+08:00

Outing outfits! What I've been wearing for my outings this sem

Top & skinny jeans : Examples, Queensway Shopping Centre Necklace: Some vendor at Century Square Bangle: Bali, courtesy of Tua Chi

Top: Billabong Skinny jeans: Esprit Peeptoe slingback wedges: Vincci Hairband: Sinma
(everything on me are stuffs I got on sales! awesome-ness)

Notice how I'm slightly slimmer in the second pic? Squint your eyes if you have to! Haha! It's all thanks to MINDS but keeping those kilos at bay is sure damn hard. My pre-wedding diet plan kinda failed after yesterday (-.-"). Look at the amount of food the girls and I had last night! Such atrocity wtf

Round 1

Round 2

Simply delicious! Mwah!

Guess we'll be going out together a lot more often now =D

2009-07-07T23:55:00.003+08:00

OMG OMG OMG!!!!!

Look at this:

Can you say WOW =DDDD

I entered this Levi's contest in TiC in April without much thought that I would win but heck decided to just give it a try since I've never join any of this kinda contest before. Lo and behold, see who won a RM60 worth T-shirt now??!! ME ME ME!!! haha super wtf I know but I don't care cos I am so so happy! My First time le! Now got semangat to join more of their contest next time ;p

And this is my winning entry:

*****

Hello!

I want the Levi's® Red Tab Curves Boot Cut because first of all, I have a really huge and perky rear (typical pear shape) and so I always have a hard time buying a pair of jeans which would fit me properly. Secondly, since this collection fits people like me better as oppose to the conventional model-ish body shape, I believe it would make me look great with all the curve hugging and leg-slimming effect. Lastly, I have heard so much of Levi's jeans but I cannot afford one myself so I figure the best way to own one is by winning this contest

*****

Super crappy and totally no flair BUT! it won me a RM60 worth T-shirt. Woots! Must be the cute bluek emoticon. Haha!

I had initially wanted to post a emo post but when I saw this I was argh can save the drama for later. Celebrate first!

Nyahaha who won a RM60 worth T-shirt??!!

ME ME ME *hand tercucuk-cucuk in air

Okay shall stop already lest you get annoyed. Hehe =)

2009-07-06T01:32:00.002+08:00

So, orientation week (MINDS) is over and boy oh boy am I glad. I'm glad that the 1 week of non-ending stress and 'surprises' are done with. I'm glad that the fringe benefits which come with the whole package have been nothing but pleasing thus far. But most of all, I'm glad that I can finally take a breather and rest my poor feet. =D

However it feels kinda weird to not be on the go now when just last week and a lil' before that, I get about 3-4 hours of sleep daily and sometimes none! Meals were a thing in the past too. And I actually have collar bone now! wtf Lets see if I can keep it until Tua Chi's wedding. Hehe.

Anyway, 3rd year starts officially tomorrow and I'm kinda jittery cos I'm taking some killer subjects this semester so wish me luck! Ooh I got En Nik for microC! Yay!

2009-06-26T18:02:00.005+08:00

IN LOVING MEMORY OF:

MICHAEL JACKSON
AGE: 50

RIP

='((((

p/s: super busy these few days. will be back next week. xoxo

2009-06-17T23:47:00.002+08:00

So, it has been meeting after meeting and more meetings this week. But! To be honest, I'm kinda enjoying it all =D Okay maybe just not the part where some annoying pricks keep ffk me. Sigh, the extent I go for MINDS. Lol.

What really amuse me throughout this whole thing is how there are so many departments in my uni which hardly anyone know of. I don't even know that they actually exist. Pusat Pengajian Berterusan dan Pembangunan Profesional? Huh? Pusat Pembangunan dan Jaminan Kualiti Akedemik? Double huh? That surely says something right if they're existence is hardly, or for me-never, felt upon.

Also, I realise how some people like to drone on and on on any given subject like an old grandmother. They seem to enjoy taking a whole long cruise before coming back to the point they're trying to make. And for some, they either lost their way while cruising or what I dunno cos they never actually get back to their point. -.-" So irritating can!

As much as UMP wants to be a "universiti teknikal bertaraf dunia", they should really reconsider their mission statement cos frankly, I think that it is a far-fetched dream. A minimum requirement of Band 1 for MUET? They gotta be kidding. Oh did I forget to mention that Band 1 is the lowest level of English competency? Seriously! And don't let me get started on the CGPA shit. T___T

Anywayyy that's not really any of my business since I'm not in any position to do anything about it. What I can do now is to sit back, unwind to Mr Cole and finish my book.

=)

2009-06-16T16:49:00.004+08:00

Just like the thick fluffy mist, it may be all wonderful and enticing while it's there but once the sun is up and shining, it'll slowly melt away and disappear into nothingness. And what is left is the ugly truth it has been shielding away from peering eyes all this while.

Peak of Sg Lembing Hill

Are we gonna face it boldly or turn our nose away? Or perhaps like some, deluded, pretending that things are still and will always be the same?

Funny how some people are.

2009-06-14T03:18:00.012+08:00

Why it's impossible to not love lolcats!

And this has got to be my favourite...

ROFLMAO!

2009-06-12T21:45:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, a stranger for the very first time in my life, said I am beautiful. However, I'm not very sure if I should be flattered or grossed out. Cos! It bloody came from some bangla at Shell! FML T___T

He's so disgusting cos he was staring at me like some old cikopek, eyeing me up and down. Apparently I am now only 'appreciated' by these hamsap and perhaps sex-deprived foreign workers. And this is not the first time. I am so not going to a gas station alone ever again. T___T

2009-06-08T22:04:00.003+08:00

So...I'm now back in uni =.=

I've always hated packing up. But I hate UNpacking even more. Especially when I have to change room every academic year. Sigh, such is the life of a uni student wtf.

waiting to be unpacked T___T

It's just gonna be my chap chye and me tonight *sad

2009-06-06T00:42:00.004+08:00

I have finally succumbed to peer pressure O_O

I now have a Windows Live Messenger account! ADD ME ADD ME!!! =D

So, I've been mia for a while cos....I HAVE BEEN BUSY SEWING! I know, I know, like super wtf right. Jessy....sewing? Haha even MJ says that's odd. LOL! But anyway! I did it and now, just to hao lian a bit... jeng jeng jeng!

It's a bag! Yay!

Pouches! Clockwise from left: Drawstring pouch for my (supposedly) bento box from Daiso, pouch which I have painstakingly sewn the flowers onto it, and my favourite of the lot which my mom has taken cos I asked her to choose between those two :|

Credits:

Me, for choosing such nice cloths (everyone says so ok!) and coming up with all the designs wtf
Ah Ma, for helping with 70% of the sewing part and for sponsoring the sewing machine
Auntie Bee Bee, for always layaning me with the jahit tepi stuffs

I had initially wanted to sew a dress or a skirt but now that I have to go back to uni soon I just don't have the time to do it. Sigh. And speaking of that! I am so annoyed at myself for joining MINDS cos I have to go back on Monday when everyone else still have 1 month of holiday! 1 MONTH!!! Argh~ I hope it'll be worth it :\

2009-05-29T00:36:00.003+08:00

Chicken a la Carte

2009-05-27T13:22:00.019+08:00

Random pics from KL. Cos I'm too lazy to blog about everything else T___T

Lydia's room

In the lift at Gardens. We actually took the lift up and down again just to get some shots ;p

Lunch at Paddington House of Pancakes

Jillian and Shirley with their colgate smile =D

Our not so successful attempt T___T

Borders

In the Ladies'. Haha toilet pun tak lepas!

Bridesmaids for rent. Haha the lady was quite pissed with us. LOL

I think we both look nice here :)

High on sugar.

<3

Analyst at work!

Caught on camera: a moment of emoness

Group pic :D

Immersing ourselves in the KL mamak culture wtf

My first designer make up from Stila! At a discount!! Yay!!!
Not to be bias or anything but branded make ups ARE better compared to the normal Maybelline and Silky Girl ones cos the colours come out stronger. I guess what you pay is what you get.

Left: Tube dress from Miss Selfridge at a 70% discount (!!!)
Right: Dress from Kitschen (as seen above)
Books: From Borders at a 20% discount!

Stuffs form Daiso. All at RM5 each. So cute right!

So many things to do, so many places to go and yet... so little time. Nevertheless, I had a really wonderful time catching up with the girls and just hanging out (and also shopping ;p). Macamlah we're so old already. Haha! Look at how much we've all grown. Look at how we've blossomed into beautiful young women. *shy/blush* I should really do a post of our school days la. Hehe stay tuned for that! wtf

2009-05-27T01:17:00.018+08:00

You would have guessed by now that Shirley and I took the bus down to KL last week to visit Lydia before she flies off to the UK this Friday. We had to take the train to meet her in Klang so both of us braved the after-work crowd and OMG what a horrendous experience it was! What with the poorly ventilated underground station, hot open air stations, miniscule trains, some annoying Malaysians who are so rude omg it's atrocious....needless to say, both of us agreed that we can never live in KL if this is how commuting to work everyday is like. It took us two whole freaking hours (@#$%!!) just to get from Pudu to Klang!! Geez the horrors if I DO ever end up in KL *touch wood

So anywayyy we just chilled at home with 50 First Dates and McD delivery the first day cos we needed to recover from the traumatic train ride wtf. Second day was Gardens, Midvalley and Bangsar. And now the highlight of Day 3.....*drumrolls* may I present to you...

Cue: everybody cheer!!!

I've heard so much bout it and I really really wanted to go and see what's all the hype about. And since Lydia wanted to try it out as well, we decided to go there for lunch. Boy oh boy, were we not disappointed! I totally DIG Fullhouse now! It's a lifestyle kinda store and the whole place is designed like a real house with a garden, porch (got real car sammo!), bathroom, etc. Their menu is so damn cute unlike conventional ones cos it's actually a magazine in cartoon! How cool is that? Food's reasonably priced too and you'd have thought that this kinda place surely gonna be ex.

Customary pic with the menu wtf

Set lunches. So cute right?

Our main courses

Gosh I really need to rave about their wild mushroom soup! It's the best mushroom soup I've ever tasted. That only if you don't like your mushroom soup too buttery/milky/rich. For me, it's perfect and I was euphoric! Not too creamy, not menjelakkan and has a nice taste of mushroom which is strong yet not overpowering. I could really go on and on bout it man! =D

Tastebud teaser

And since I am such a glutton I ordered the club sandwich. *shy* Simply delicious *mwah* though all of us did the python after that. Hehe!

Time to go poke around!

I saw some really cute tees and jackets but too bad they are free size *scowls* Why must everything come in free sizes??!! Kurang my business to do ed le!! *folds arm* But anyway Lydia bought this really cute white bag. Well at least none of us left empty handed. LOL.

Last pic with the car! It's a covertible Mr Bean car!

I would definitely love to go back there again. But the location's a bit out of place in Damansara Ara la. Like who the hell goes there?

Anyone willing to take me there? *big wet eyes*

p/s: I realized that I did the peace sign in almost all of my photos. What's wrong with me man??!! Okay need to think of new post ed =.=

2009-05-25T15:16:00.004+08:00

It was so funny! Jasmine and I wore the same kind of outfit to church yesterday and I swear we didn't plan it! Great minds think alike, eh? It's already such a big coincidence that both of us wore horizontally striped tops and black skinnies but what's more, our tops have hoodies too! So cute right!

I got my top at a 70% discount from Springfield =D

Anyway since I'm already writing bout her so let me go on a lil bit more ;p

I met Jasmine in Sunday School when I was like 10 (?) and we've been good friends ever since. She's my best church mate and we're both Uncle Ho's golden girls *bangga

Ok, the end.

2009-05-25T14:55:00.005+08:00

Some S'pore goodness to share with you!

The best corn snack ever and my fav pearl milk drink

This is a real good stuff! Don't believe me? See below for yourself!

Are you salivating already? ;p

This is really good as well. Choc filled tarts with roasted almond on top.

Beef goulash and velvety mushroom soup.

2009-05-25T01:52:00.018+08:00

My birthday post! Finally! Lets do some flashback and see what I did on that one fateful day :D

Reached S'pore earlier than usual but I can't remember what time exactly >.< This is my birthday breakfast: McD delivery. I had McGriddles which is just like McMuffin but instead of two pieces of muffin thing kiap-ping the meat patty and egg, the former has two pancakes. It tasted weird imo cos sweet and savoury somehow just don't work for me. I still prefer McMuffin best but it still beats me why it's called McMuffin cos the muffin thing isn't really muffin, or it is?

Then it's time to hit the town! This is my birthday outfit.

Top: CNY baju, MNG outlet in EC Mall
Shorts: My first purchase with my first pay, Miss Selfridge
Peeptoe slingbacks: My fav pair of heels, Vincci
Bag: Christmas present from Tua Chi
Accessories: Model's own wtf

Next up, my birthday lunch with Jie Chi! We went to Shokudo at Raffles Place cos there weren't much choices. It's the Japanese version of Marche and Village.

I had soft-shell crab ramen

Sis had the lunch value meal

Japanese food rocks my socks!!

However, I wasn't really satisfied with my meal cos it's not very good. I would rather go to places like Ajisen Ramen or Sakae Sushi <.< >.>

My birthday buy! This top was so meant to be mine cos it was the last piece and in my size. What's more?! It's on a 50% discount! I'm fated to buy it. Hehe

We were walking around trying to look for our bridesmaid dresses (this is before I found mine) but alas, luck was not on our side. Here are some of the many dresses we tried on that day:

Highlight of the day: My birthday dinner with the sisters and their other halves! We went Tony Roma's cos it's in Suntec and we were lazy to travel elsewhere. Food's alright but I would have preferred CPK where I went for my 20th birthday or perhaps Hard Rock <.< >.>

Anyway I had a delicious choc birthday cake from Bakerzin which is also at a 50% discount (woots i love discounts!) so all's good :D

Look at the amount of food we had!

My birthday cake =)

So yea that basically sums up what I did on my birthday. I realized that this is my third birthday away from home and it just dawns upon me what a big girl I am now. Time seems to have no mercy and it keeps going faster each day that before I know it, I'm already stepping into adulthood. I'm not done with my teenhood yet!!! And in a blink of an eye I'd be in my mid 20s soon. Then late 20s, 30s......walau eh!

This is supposed to be a happy post but now it's ending a lil bit emo. Sigh.

2009-05-25T01:41:00.003+08:00

Finally got my bridesmaid dress!

Very unconventional, young and funky. I love it! :D

Front

Back

Now all I need is a pair of shoes and accessories to go with it. I was thinking gold colour but my friends are saying that it'll be too much. Hmm maybe but I still wanna go with it.

2009-05-25T00:51:00.006+08:00

I am so disappointed. Finally went to the much talked-about 'fashion heaven' at Jalan Telawi in Bangsar and the only description which I feel aptly describes can be summed up in one word: OVERRATED.

First and foremost, it was a visual let-down. Maybe my expectations were too high cos I was kinda expecting lots and lots of nice boutiques but what I got are very chaotic streets of somehow old and dirty looking shophouses. Imagine my horror when I saw them. Definitely not what I thought it is and since I had not bothered to google the images, I was like, 'So this is Jalan Telawi?' -.-

Then I thought oh well, don't mind the exterior of the boutiques. Maybe they have some really nice stuff inside since we shouldn't judge a book by its cover, right? But walau eh it was altogether another wave of disappointment cos out of all the boutiques we went, and believe me we went to many, imo only Baci and Nurita Harith (?) are decent. Shoes Shoes Shoes is just okay and the rest are plain lousy cos the stuff they're selling are like Sungai Wang's stuff. Quite the lala some of them.

And that's not all. The salesgirls/owner that day macam la kena force to work. So unfriendly can! Only the ladies from Cats Whiskers and Nurita Harith are nice enough to explain the sales of their stuff to us. The rest are like stuck-up bitches and not a single hello or smile from them. Okay maybe not all since I remember some of them did smile. Suffice to say, customer sevice is still one area those people need to work on.

Last but not least (this is the most annoying part!), most if not all the clothes cater only to thin people. So chunky people like me cannot buy T_____T
This is sheer discrimination to the big-sized people! How can like that??!!

Anyway, here are some photos. Very few only cos obviously we weren't very happy. LOL.

This is how the shops basically looks like.

Group pic! Me, Lydia, Michelle and Shirley.

Three of them cos obviously someone had to take the shot wtf

2009-05-11T13:29:00.002+08:00

There were so many things to blog about, so many stories and new experiences to tell but so little time. Yet, now here I am sitting in my living room with no plans at all for this week and even the next, I am somehow lost for words. Not in awe but well...they have all somehow turned into nothingness. Not significant enough for me to want to immortalize them in words. Sigh. Such is the human heart. Perhaps another day.

2009-04-30T11:10:00.003+08:00

It's official now. Year 2 has ended.

Whew~ (not too sure if this is a sigh of relief or emo)

Feels like I just entered uni not long ago and now I'm already halfway through. It's really scary cos it seems like I have not really learned anything substantial which will help me in advancing my study/career. As though my slate gets wiped clean after each semester. As though I am too stupid to retain any infomation/knowledge. T____T

This semester, like any other, is quite a disappointing one academically wise. Same old same old. Haih. You think I myself am not sien meh? I have thought that I could for once get some A's for my core subjects besides Engineering Maths and I was in fact quite pleased with my carry marks but after sitting for my finals I would be very lucky if I even manage to get a B. SIGH. Am pissed with myself cos I know that I could have certainly done better, much better, if not for the lazy bug Y___Y

No point crying over spilled milk. What that has been done has already been done. Lets just learn from this and move forward (obviously trying to pacify myself wtf).

On a brighter note, the HOLIDAY is here! Going to Singapore, JB, KL and Penang if all goes according to plan =) Actually there isn't exactly a plan yet but I do wanna go to these places. Hehe. Talk about wanting to stay home longer, eh. But I really do!! I'm forfeiting my second Singapore trip okay even though it's gonna be more fun cos my mom and bro are going also so this means that we get to go eat more yummy food since the mother-in-law-to-be is there ;p And I think there will be even better sales then. The things I do for time with family and friends wtf.

Okay, things to accomplish this break:

Taiping (home)

Hawker food!!
Bring Ginny to the vet.
Accompany Ah Ma (and also Ah Kong, to be fair LOL) more.
Hang out with friends more.
Bring Boy out for at least one movie.
Hiking everyday (!!!)
Watch a lot of tv wtf
Cook/bake (!!!)
Get a trim

Singapore

Shopping! Need to get at least one nice dress for Kenneth's wedding and perhaps another for Tua Chi's. Ooh and I can finally put my Charles and Keith Birthday benifits to good use! Hehe ;p
Eat: Sakae Sushi, Crystal Jade, Hard Rock Cafe, any kind of buffet, chicken rice, Burger King, Carl's Jr, Subway and lotsa knick knacks in Taka basement.
Sweettalk!!! Why la Malaysia don't have this??!!

Bangsar with Lydia. Been wanting to go to their flea market for the llloooonnnggeessttt time. Hehe.
Clubbing maybe?

Penang

Hawker food!!!
Go to the pasar malam which Mandy always go to get her pirated DVDs =D
Visit Queensbay Mall's Forever 21! Which is so much nicely done than Sg's. Not sure bout their collections though.

Spend time with lai ma and family. Haven't seen them for close to a year. How time flies! Sad that I didn't manage to say goodbye to Kranji War Memorial cos the last time I went to Sg, as fate would have it, something happened so I couldn't go stay with them. And now lai ma papa has retired and gone back to JB. As weird as this may sound, I actually miss staying at Kranji. Got the dead bodies okay. Even the ex-President's! Whenever I go stay with them I always follow them for breakfast everyday. It's always either Lor Mee/Prawn Mee at Woodlands Point, Keh Leng Na Mee (mee rebus) at Marsiling or Curry Mee at some HDB area. Khatib or something, I can't remember. And then it'll be tv the whole day but sometimes we do go out. Usually to Bugis, Tekka or Chinatown area. They still dunno how to go to Orchard Road even after staying at Sg for so long! And Orchard Road's like my territory la. LOL. Life in the memorial is quite monotonous and can get pretty boring if I may add so what lai ma papa does not everyone is up for it. He's the manager/caretaker btw.

Okay, that pretty much sums up my plans for this holiday. If you'd notice it's always about food, food and more FOOD. I just love to eat I can't help it. They say, 'eat to live, not live to eat', but I say 'BOTH!!!' Hehe =D

2009-04-27T12:50:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I feel like kicking myself hard...really hard in my ass. YES, my own big but supple ass, if I may say so. LOL.

;(((

What the hell is wrong with me man?! I'm just very not myself lately. For how long I do not know. Heck, I don't even dare to think about it.

Where oh where art thou my lovely spirit?
For it's been so long since you're gone
That I'm is beginning to feel foreign
Are you lost and cannot find your way back?
Then I'll pray that the stars will never dim
To light your path back to this lonely heart
Come back, make haste, and claim your rightful place.
I have been missing you for too long.

2009-04-25T06:29:00.003+08:00

I hate:

Being sweaty. I'm the typical big sweaty unglam kinda girl cos I sweat real easily even with the slightest heat. Why do I have such active sweat glands? Why oh why??!! >.<||
How I am always so lazy to study when I know that I could easily achieve good results if only I put in the extra effort. I can't remember when was the last time I really studied. Sei mou.
How I am such a glutton. That's why I can never ever be slim. The thinnest I can ever get is when I can fit into size 12 clothes *embarrassed
Making small talks. Cos it's like you're forced to have conversation and most of the time people are insincere when they do that. And I always feel awkward. Is it just me? LOL
Latecomers (and also waiting). Time is GOLD. Enough said.

I love:

Food (refer to #3 above). Seriously, food will be the death of me =.=
Fashion. I like dressing up and looking pretty. Now, thin doesn't necessarily equals beautiful, yes? If I have 1 million dollars I'd go crazy in Topshop, Miss Selfridge, Zara and Mango =D
Travelling. I like going to new places and explore what they have to offer. If all goes well I'll be going backpacking after graduation. Who wants to join me? ;p
The beach. Especially taking long walks with my love under the bright shining full moon and star-lit sky. Ooh and also watching the sun sets! Very idealistic I know. Hehe.
Animals. I used to once want to be the next Steve Irwin (RIP) and Jane Goodall. These people are so inspiring. Don't support the fur and exotic animal trade k?

----------------------------------------------------

Guess what??!! I finally know how to link websites! Woots aren't I brilliant? Hehe. So here are the 2 websites which I tried (but failed) to linklast time: The guessing game and the newsread.

2009-04-23T23:54:00.006+08:00

My second year's ending in a week's time. And I feel like I have not learned much that will actually help me in advancing my career/study. This is where the Malaysian education fails. Or perhaps it'll be more apt to say that I failed (-.-") since I have not shown much interest and rather the lack of capability to be honest. Bah!

I was really annoyed at pretty lotsa people these few days. Should be the imbalance hormone's working cos my period's overdue. And also the stress of not being well prepared for my exams. Two papers down and two more to go. Yay! I'm already lining up my plans for this coming long break but this time I try to stay put at home as long as possible. I wanna spend as much time with Ginny as possible cos old age is catching up with her. Just the other day I saw on PostSecret a picture of a dog with the caption: 'I hope that I can come home from college in time to give you the life you deserved. I'm afraid of losing you to old age.' I can so relate to that post but dang I forgot to save it >.< Really cannot bear the thought of going home to a house without my Ginny ;(

I look crap I know so stop bitching already. Haha.

And I miss Ah Ma too ;(

Blur looking Ah Kong and cute Ah Ma <3

I used to go over to her place every weekend. How funny it is when I was younger I hated her cooking but as I grow older I just can't get enough of them! She whips up the most delicious chinese dishes. Simple but a luxury to the tastebuds indeed. I love those Saturday afternoons where she would accompany me watch my favourite cooking shows on Discovery Travel & Living channel, and then it's Ballroom Bootcamp at 4. She doesn't understand English much but still she's always fascinated with those ang moh langs and their fancy, quirky ways. She loves their 'kin siu' (animals in Hokkien) as well on Animal Planet. Hehe. But now that I'm away from home, even when I do go home, I rarely go visit her cos there's always so many things to do yet so little time. Excuses, excuses. I'm cucu derhaka ;((

Okay I think I've digressed too much on what this whole post is suppose to be about. Typical me. Anywayyy I do not know if I should be angry/happy/relieved/annoyed when I sat for my Electrical Machine & Power System paper today. Cos bladdy hell almost all the questions are exactly like the ones we had in our tests. Even if they're not 100% alike it's so similar you just can't not know how to do. Like this why even make us sit for the exam? So stupid right? When my friend told me that the other section's lecturer ask to look back all the test papers I wasn't expecting anything like this at all! Shit! And the worst thing is that I still do not know how to do some of them ;((( *slaps self* It was practically a free A and yet....sigh.

And then about Numerical Methods & Statistics! Walau eh, now this one I'm really pissed. Cos some of the questions are exactly like the ones in the other section's lecturer's notes! It's so unfair....shouldn't it be like all for one and one for all?

Can someone please tell me why am I still here? Now I feel like I AM wasting precious time. I dream of being in a place where my senses are always being teased, to be driven. Somewhere where injustice is condemned kau kau. And everyone is given what they deserve, what they've earned. I am still waiting for that day to come.

2009-04-23T23:54:00.000+08:00

My second year's ending in a week's time. And I feel like I have not learned much that will actually help me in advancing my career/study

2009-04-19T01:50:00.000+08:00

I found this link on fourfeetnine's blog and it's really funny in a kinda creepy way. LOL.
http://en.akinator.com/<----- copy paste this on your address browser! Gosh I think I should really learn how to link a website sia >.<

Anywayyy still no water! WTF man! I'm getting my period soon and I really really REALLY hope that the water supply will be back by then. Hmph!

This season of 'drought' we can really see some people's true color man. So disgusting and annoying I wanna barf! Seriously, compromise la since water is so scarce that we can't even afford to even pangsai in our own common toilet how pathetic is that. Poor Sew had to go all the way to the clinic yesterday and today she drove all the way to the toll just to shit. Now that's what I call innovation in desparation WTF. Doesn't really sound right but it sure sounds good. Haha!

First day we went to the toll to bathe and yesterday and today we went to Petronas. I bet the mak cik cleaner loathes us UMPians now cos we're adding up to their water bill. Hehe. Met quite a number of fellow troopers there too so no surprise for the mak cik cleaner's dark scowls. =.=||
So angry at my bowel system cos when I can't take a dump I FEEL like I gotta do it there and then but when there's a proper toilet (toilets with WATER) it just doesn't want to come out. WTF. No inspiration at all that I have to force and kek it out (read: pre-labour exercise). Haih.

Why oh why?!

2009-04-17T23:24:00.000+08:00

This is an entry of an angsty, water deficit girl:

I feel like pang sai-ing. But I can’t. Cos there has been no water supply since Wednesday and I need to be thrifty with how I use it. *cry

DAMN YOU UMP!!!

This is the umpteenth time that our water supply is disrupted.

SCREW YOU!!!

Best water appreciation lesson, eh?

BUT I DON’T CARE GIMME MY WATER NOW!!!

T____T

It seriously sucks to not have water for so many days. Dah lah the weather so freaking hot that I'm constantly feeling sticky and sweaty but cannot bathe cos need to save water. And my exam is in few days time. Like I (we) need an extra matter to stress over -.-"

SUCK BALLS!!! GRR~

2009-04-17T04:12:00.001+08:00

It’s 4 am now and there’s is no hint of sleepiness in me. Yet. This is one of the reasons why I usually hate study week cos my biological clock is always screwed up around this time.

So lately I’ve been reading a lot of Su Ann’s blog. Of course, I do not know her personally or anything. I'm NOT a stalker k. Just happen to like her flair of writing. She’s just another blogger I sort of discovered but actually she’s been famous for a while. Just that I never get around to reading her blog. Speaking of which, I really hate this habit of mine: blog hopping. First, it wastes time. Secondly, it just makes me more depressed at my own already depressed enough life whenever I read of how fabulous theirs are T____T

Anywayyy back to what I was saying, it’s really amazing how she sounds so much mature than me although I’m technically older than her (1 year!). If I were to compare us both I feel like I've been living under the tempurung for too long. I've been in my comfort zone too much. There are so many things to explore. So many new experiences to savour. And yet, here I am, little small me (figuratively speaking of course!), hidden amongst the thousands of students in UMP with little or perhaps almost close to none of moments that took my breath away. Moments valuable and moments which help shape me into what and who I am.

This brings me to the whole point of this post. I feel like up till now, 21 years 11 months 10 days of my life, I haven't really found myself, who I really am. I feel like I am a few steps backwards in normal human physiological and emotional growth cos when usually normal people would have passed this stage in their adolescence years I am now only beginning to embark on this whole new period of my life. So who I really am? What is my purpose here?

I really don't want to just let life pass me by like that. I want to capture it and live every day like it's my last. But I still have a long to go to really be able to appreciate it =( What have I learned so far? Where do I see myself in the future, say in 5 years' time? It's really frustrating to not have found your footing. Yesterday, I was very very down and was emoing away, as I typed a whole long post only to decide that I don't want/should not post it. Cos I was afraid. Afraid to show myself bare of what I'm truly feeling. Afraid to find out what people will say. But this ain't really a problem since there's zero existance in this blog...by choice. Another result of my fear. I can't believe I am even ashamed to let my friends see what I'm struggling with. Maybe it's because I'm ashamed at my state as I am now not what people have expected me to be? Why is my star getting more and more bleak?

Oh gosh, seriously, like I need more of this when I am suppose to be drowning myself in books -.-'

I just wish that one day I could wake up happy and cheery and able to say confidently that I am me. I am Jessy. Nothing more and nothing short. Please come soon!!!

2009-04-17T04:12:00.000+08:00

It’s 4 am now and there’s is no hint of sleepiness in me. Yet. This is one of the reasons why I usually hate study week cos my biological clock is always screwed up around this time.

So lately I’ve been reading a lot of Su Ann’s blog. Of course, I do not know her personally or anything. She’s just another blogger I sort of discovered but actually she’s been famous for a while. Just that I never get around to reading her blog. Speaking of which, I really hate this habit of mine: blog hopping. First, it wastes time. Secondly, it just makes me more depressed at my own already depressed enough life whenever I read of how fabulous theirs are T____T

Anywayyy back to what I was saying, it’s really amazing how she sounds so much mature than me although I’m technically older than her (1 year!). If I were to compare us both I feel like I've been living under the tempurung for too long.

2009-04-16T04:18:00.000+08:00

Hey there.

It's me.....again.

I just read pinkpau and sweatlee's blogs, and they really got me thinking. How life is so unfair. How you've got no one to blame but yourselves when things don't turn out the way you've hoped it would. How sometimes destiny is kinda in your own hands. I know I did say once in my earlier post that God has amazing plans for our lives, each and every one of us. That we should not doubt Him cos after all just like how far/high heaven is from earth, so are His ways than our ways. But sometimes (okay maybe more than SOMEtimes) I wish so much that circumstances favour me. It's the selfish in me talking, please forgive me. Humans are like that, I suppose. They're never contented with what they have...until it's gone. But then again, selfishness is what that drives us to strive for the best, no? And here is where most make their mistakes of sidelining God and all the sins and what-nots rear their ugly heads.

Enough of digressing.

So what I'm trying to say is erm.....how do I begin, eh? I think let's begin at the start.

When I was young, I had so many BIG dreams. Till today I can still remember vividly how much I wanted to go to Harvard or Oxford. How I had believed that I can or will go there. Of course at that point of time things like financial factors and stuff didn't occur to me cos I was young. I was pretty much of an idealist. I believed I could soar very high. Cos I thought I was special and really smart. Oh just how naive I was back then. Then as I grow, I continue to excel academically but alas, the pride in me more often than not got too confident of my ability that I slipped. Small slips at first, but then they got bigger and bigger. So I figured that kinda contributes to my being here. It's not that I'm not thankful for the fact that I got a place in the public U. But, there's always a but, I wish so much that I had put in my best effort so that at least I'm one step nearer to my dream since I'm not from a rich family (though we're living comfortably now) cos the expectation for my parents to put me through an oversea U is OUT of the question, let alone a local private one.

So this is why I am so frustrated with my life, with myself sometimes cos it's just not fair that there are people who get better exposure, better opportunities and better experiences in life just cos circumstances favour them. I do not have an exceptional ability and neither do I have the cash to pursue my dream. They say hard work will take you places but I say it's all BS cos no matter how big of an effort you put in if circumstances don't favour you then, it will be futile.

I know I have said this many times but I still want to say this again: I dislike it here. Not so much of the people but of the experiences and the quality of education I'm missing out. Yaso and Sew, if you're reading this please do not misunderstand k, cos I love you guys. Really, I couldn't ask for better roommates ;p What I'm trying to say is does it mean that us people who are in the public U cannot achieve as much as those who are in the pretigious schools? Cos whether we like it or not, it is a fact that somehow us public U ones are a step, if not a few, behind those in the Ivy League schools and the likes. If you put one from each to compare, one would be able to immediately differentate one from the other. The way they think, the way they speak, the extent of their knowledge, etc. In short, I want the better of who and what I am right now.

Why is Malaysia so corrupted? Why isn't everyone given the chance they deserve? Why are there shits like quotas and what-nots?

My mom talked to me about getting a Masters after I finish my Degree. She did mention about doing it private locally. However, the little voice in me is saying that unless I'm going overseas, I'm not going to get my Masters....for now. This is because I have wasted not 1 or 2 but 4 (!!!) years studying something which I have no interest in so unless I'm sure I'll be getting the kind of experience I've always pictured, Masters is out of the question. Sorry mom, but I need to follow my heart. Maybe I'll change my mind later on but we'll see. I guess for now I can only work and save up but God knows how long that'll take. Dammit.

I sound pathetic, no need to remind me thank you very much. I really do hope that one day, I'll be able to see myself attending class at a pretigious school and receive the kind of education which everyone deserves, unlike the in the local U which is a joke. I don't even understand how could a Bio student ever get a Physics kind of course. Divine intervention?

Obviously I've still got a long way more to go to loving myself.....and life. Sorry I'm such a selfish bitch.

2009-04-16T01:13:00.000+08:00

Lookie what I found!

http://www.state.gov/r/pa/prs/ps/2009/03/120070.htm
(copy paste this onto the address thingy cos I dunno how to link it. haih very sappai I know T____T)

Hmm....and I wonder why our local media didn't publish this. Oh well, we DO know why...but some things are better kept mum. Dun wanna get sued. Wtf.

Anywayyy....I've been really hooked onto SS501's songs lately. Their songs are ssooo good dammit I can't concentrate on my studies T____T

I like this song in particular...Find

na-ege seodo na-ege seodo ganjeolhaejin maminde
eotteokharago eotteokharago haeyo
neomu adeukhan neomu adeukhan sarang inde
jeoldae pogi mothaneun shimjangi geudae ingeo jyo

yeogiseo isseo neoui useum chaja ulkkeoya
nimam apeugehan nunmureun yeogi naega da jaba dultenikka
tumyeonghan ni sarangeul jeoldae ijji mothal gireum mandeuro
bandeushi uri sarangeul dashi chajeultenikka

niga eopshido niga epseodo jal haenael su isseulkka
kkumeul kku-eodo hangsang duri yeottneunde
neoreul dalma-on neoreul dalma-on shigandeureul
jeoldae pogi mothaneun miryeonhan shimjangingeojyo

teongbin sarange gaseum ta-oreuneun seulpeumdo
neoreul maeumeseo mireonaegi-en bujokhan nareul jaranikka
heureuneun geu nunmure nameun gi-eok majeo jamkil ttakkaji
bandeushi naui sarangeun neoreul chajeultenikka

TRANSLATION

From me, from me too
It is changed sincere heart
I say “What should I do? What should I do?”
It is but a extremely faraway, a very faraway love
It is you whom my heart
Definitely can’t give up

I stand here, to find back your laughter
The painful tears from your heart
I am here to catch them all
I make a road that I will definitely not forget, your crystal-clear love
Because we will surely find, our love again

Without you, even without you
Will i be able to live well?
It is always the two of us even in the dream that dream..
Resemblance of you, the times that resembles you
It is the lingering love
That I definitely can’t give up

The empty love, even with the sadness burning in the chest
I will not be able to push you out from my heart
Because the imperfect me is insignificant
Until the falling tears
Submerge every single memories
For you are my love, I will surely find you

Damn jiwang I know...Haha but I don't care cos I LOVE IT!
Roflmao!

There are other songs which I really like too but am lazy to go search for their lyrics. I'm suppose to study, remember? LOLLL -.-"

Okay, something is obviously wrong with me cos I'm always ss laughing at my own lame jokes which most prolly others don't think is funny =.=||

HAHA BUT IT IIISSSS FUNNY!
=D

You don't think so? *pouts

Okay, this post is sounding a tad stupid.

HAHA wtf!

2009-04-14T16:35:00.000+08:00

OMG I AM SSSOOOO BORED I COULD DIE!!!

Like seriously...haven't even started studying for my exams next week O_O

I'm now listening to Extreme's More Than Words and gosh, it really makes me wish I didn't stop my guitar lesson. Sigh. I would have really love plucking my guitar away cos it's just so cool, you know. Wtf haha. One of the boyfriend requirements would be 'must know how to play guitar and serenade me with songs just like in 50 First Dates'. LMAO! Okay, if cannot play guitar at least must know how to play drums. Wtf!

2009-04-14T02:17:00.000+08:00

It's study week now....and yet I am so unmotivated to study. Sad =(

I really hate myself whenever I'm like this because I NEVER seem to learn my lesson. First, it was SPM. Then, STPM. And now in uni *bangs head on the wall

BUCK UP, GAL!!!

So anywayyy....I went to Sg Lembing, again. This time with some of my coursemates. Hehe. Champion sia to hike up the hills 2 weeks in a row. But I guess I won't be going there anytime soon. Really wan this time!

Coincidently it was a Sunday so there's a pasar pagi. And guess what I bought?! A pair of 1 inch heels for RM10 and 13 (small) dragon fruits for RM10 also!!! Oh the cheapness is just so awesome! Haha!

I changed my digicam's batt so the photos turned out not too bad. Yay! But I'm lazy to upload them all (300++) so here's ONE to tease you. LOL. The uncle's friend who took this photo for us was so funny. Instead of saying cheese, he asked us to say 'SEX'. Like wtf. Never here people say that before. Haha.

Nice right?! I like this photo a lot cos everyone's so happy and smiley but in actual fact all were tired like shit. Wtf. We were quite intimidated at first cos there were so many people with their ultra pro and expensive DSLRs. Their lenses are like the length of my feet. Bigger also got. Not kidding. And their stands, omg, are like the ones you see in a studio. Quite malu to be snapping away with my 3 years old lau beh Nikon L2 and Ba's Canon A400. But whatever la cos I dunno them and neither do they know me. Hehe.

Later on me and Lih Yin went for their famous noodles and tofu but boy, oh boy....I was so dissapointed cos the delicious stall didn't open. We settled for a random one cos it has the most customers but their curry soup tasted like shit! Expensive sammo! Grr~ Even the one in Gambang tastes so much better. Haih went all the way ed only get to eat yucky curry noodles. Tofu pula no more ed T____T

Anywayyy....lookey here mama! My FIRST time winning the internediate level in Spider Solitaire! Damn jakun, I know, but I never ever manage to complete it ok. Hmph!

Oh yea....I've finally finished the damn Analogs report. Cis I really really hate it kau kau. The stupid lecturer also! And not forgetting Cik Hipokrit! Grr~

First of all, the problem (question) does not and can never exist cos the fucking plagiarizer of an asshole had simply copy paste some oversea uni's lab sheet and then just change the JFET to N-MOSFET. I'm talking bout transistors fyi. Non-electrical people might think this is a small matter but NO, it makes a huge ass of a difference.

We had to find all the values of the resistor and what nots of the voltage divider bias circuit and because the keh-gau lecturer changed the transistor, we couldn't. For the whole night right after my Machines test my friends and I stayed up just to do it but in the end we couldn't finish it cos the whole lab shit is total BS! It's just impossible. Even the geniuses in my section can't do it. So in the end we decided to just ask our lecturer (not the lecturer mentioned earlier) postpone the dateline.

And then when we went for the transformer talk the next morning only did Cik Hipokrit say, 'Eh, korang tak tau ke boleh hantar hari Isnin'. Walau eh, I really felt like giving her a good kick in the ass cos she and her friends did not have the decency to let us know at all. No wonder they can afford to relax while the rest of us were slogging away. Blardy hell! So anyway, back to the report, we just do whatever we can following the stupid lecturer's answer scheme (I know....like major WTF right) using many assumptions (which is stupid). Our simulation didn't even work. LOL.

This is Malaysian Public Uni for you. Where most, if not all, of the lecturers' 'work' are simply an art of plagiarism. -.- This is not the first time happening so it's kinda frustrating to know that these kind of people who know nuts are being paid with the taxpayers' money to educate our future leaders. Pathetic betul. That's why Malaysia can never progress. Sigh.

Btw....I've just watched He's Just Not That Into You and 50 First Dates! They're so funny and sweet (especially the latter). Haih it's movies like these which cause my (and many other girls') unreasonably high expectations towards my future other half. I really love the part where Henry (Adam Sandler) serenade Lucy (Drew Barrymore) with his composition. *melts* And how he's so determined on making her falling in love with her everyday. *turns into vapor* Finally figured that Alex in HJNTIY is Justin Long even though I've never heard of him but omg he's so cute! Haha. Like in the end how he became like Gigi cos he fell in love with her after she gave him a wake up call. Walau eh~~~

I'm a sucker for romance. Hehe.

Okay this has been one long post and I think I really gotta start studying ed. Wish me luck!

2009-04-07T23:10:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since we last talked. And, honestly, I can't really be bothered if you don't bother to call anymore. Cos I'm tired. Tired of playing the catch-the-mouse game. Figuratively speaking of course.

Why do you always go mia? Why do you never pick up my calls? Why do you never reply my messages?

Don't you care about me? Have you forgotten about me?

I'm crying as I'm typing this cos no matter how hard I try to deny that it doesn't matter and that I can't be arsed but the truth is, I still care deep down. It hurts so bad, you know.

Yes, you always say that you have problems and all, and I understand that you need some time off...but don't you think that it's taken up too long?

So you finally called yesterday. Since....last year? I really couldn't remember you ever call or message me this year. And all you had to say is 'What's your shoe size?'. Not even a 'How are you?'.

You are always buying me stuffs. Showering me with gifts and money. Pampering me. BUT DON'T YOU KNOW THAT THAT IS NOT WHAT I WANT/NEED?

I could and would rather forego all those material things if I could have you back.

Sometimes I wonder how are we gonna be like 10 years down the road. Will we be close like mom and lau hor ee? Or perhaps as distant as she and Ah Ngor ee?

I don't know.....I really don't.

I've always hoped that us siblings will be close-knit no matter where we are or who we've become but now they all seem to be wistful thinking.

We may have done better in life and is living comfortably, but, are they worth foregoing your family?

I just want to let you know that it's not cool to always leave me (and mom and sis) hanging like that. Cos family is love. Show some love, yeah?

sg lembing photos =D

2009-04-07T01:21:00.000+08:00

Awesome, isn't it?

2009-04-07T01:12:00.000+08:00

No matter how good a friend is, he/she is still human after all. And none's perfect.

Do I just let it go and shrug it off...or should I lau kai for a while, just to show that what he/she did is not okay....and that I am no pushover?

Sigh.

2009-04-04T23:55:00.001+08:00

omg I LOVE Sg Lembing!

I love the whole oldskool atmosphere of the place, how when you're there it's like taking a step back into the past. It is almost untouched and the scenery especially from the top of the hill is just breathtaking. Totally refreshing for a change.

But the hike up, OMG, is so freaking tiring. We (or at least I) were initially scared cos the path was pitch black and I had expected it to be lit. But no, it was so dark that even with our 2 torchlights we still can't see our way properly. What to do? Of course la use hp's lamp. Now I love my hp even more cos it prevented me from tripping on the uneven steps *strokes hp lovingly

So we started our journey (at 4.55am wtf) and hike, and hike,

'are we there yet?'
'no'

and hike,

'are we there yet?'
'almost'

and continued hiking,

'where is the pondok?'
'reaching'

and still hiking...

Walau eh at that time my legs are almost like jelly and my heart beating so hard against my ribs till it resonates to my head. Still...we weren't there yet. At the last quarter of the journey I was so near to giving up and even asked Sew if she's really sure that the last pondok is really there. Haha.

At last we reached a kind of clearing and decided that we should walk no further cos the path seems to be going downhill and at that time (5.30am) it's still pitch black. I was really scared throughout the whole thing because in such darkness one can never perceive what could happen. I kept on imagining predators jumping out of the bush, some baddies wanna hurt us and seeing ghost. Stupid I know, but I can't help it at that time. All I could do was to keep on flashing the torchlight around now and then.

So we all sat down and just pass time until others are there before deciding our next step. Boy am I glad we reached early (earliest) cos the sky is blanketed with stars. Never have I seen sssoooo many stars together at once before. Not exaggerating ok.

Then a group of people came....and another....and another....and yet another. I was very proud of us (roomies and I) cos we were the smallest in number and yet we had the guts to brave through the darkness to hike up *beams with pride. Sammo it's us girls only le. No guys to protect us. LOL.

The view, like I said earlier, is simply awesome. On one side we cannot see the town below cos there was a thick layer of mist making us feel as though we were very very high up but actually we were probably as high as Maxwell Hill's second pondok. On the other side pula is where the sun is suppose to rise. The greens are so vast that as though there're no roads or whatsoever but only trees and more trees down there.

In the end we didn't really get to see the sun as how we expected cos it was rather cloudy where the sun is suppose to rise. No orange coloured yoke but just shades of it. Sigh. But it's still beautiful nevertheless =)

Damn pek chek earlier on just before we started hiking. My camera's battery decided to die on me just as I was going to start taking pictures. Walau eh! Annoying tahap melampau sia! My fault also la actually cos I forgot to check the battery's life and didn't bring extras *emo. So all of our pics were taken using hp cameras =.= Not the best quality but I think Sew's 5MP one is quite decent.

Stayed till 8 something then we were too hungry to wait for the sun to rise any higher. The hike down, OMG again, was horrible. Just 5 minutes into the hike down my legs starts to shake ed. Quite scary cos I was worried that I won't be able to last all the way down but anyway in the end we all reached flat land without any incident. Yay!

However, it won't be anytime soon before I go there again. It's definitely not for the faint hearted and one should be decently fit before trying to take on the hill. It was a good experience nevertheless =D

Then, breakfast!!! So many people and the aunties are even stressed. Haha! Had their curry noodles and tofu. Yum! My noodles with 5 yong tau foo is only RM 2.80. So cheap! The tofu is 60 cents each. Cheap again! I'm a sucker for cheap stuffs. Hehe.
But I couldn't finish my noodles cos I was somehow not hungry even after the grueling hike. Heh.

After that Fun left with Tai Lou cos he and another 2 came for breakfast while the three of us went exploring. It's quite an interesting town, really, with their jambatan gantung where the folks actually ride their bikes on it even thought it's really long and shaky. The museum pula, was just okay since I'm no big fan of history.

Went back after that and all of us totally knocked out.

2009-04-04T23:55:00.000+08:00

omg i LOVE sg lembing! like really, really. oh wait. i think

2009-03-31T22:53:00.001+08:00

OH GOSHHHHH!!!!

Walau eh I am so friggin' pissed with myself! I had

2009-03-31T22:53:00.000+08:00

OH GOSHHHHH!!!!

Walau eh I am so friggin' pissed with myself! I had my Analog test earlier on and it's a pretty easy paper but I screwed it up! =((((

And I had even dream of scoring full marks for it. Yeah it is THAT easy. Which is why I am so angry with myself. Cos I am (always) so careless! Grr.

*bangs head against wall*

Now I'd have to put in more oil for my finals to get an A. SIGH. Why oh why??!!

boohoohoo

2009-03-27T00:21:00.000+08:00

i feel that i should write/blog this down.

The first person I could really connect with when I first got here (UMP) was Wei Zhen. We kinda hit it off almost immediately cos being the rare kind of people (read: half banana) here our thinking and stuff are quite different from the rest.

2009-03-22T02:37:00.001+08:00

Got my period today.

So that kinda explains why I was in such a lousy mood these past few days. Heh! PMS le! Never thought I'm one of those who are affected by it ;p

2009-03-22T02:37:00.000+08:00

Got my period today.

So that kinda explains why I was in such a lousy mood these past few days. Heh

~

2009-03-21T00:53:00.000+08:00

bladdy hell!

no water again -.-||

Earlier on I got the inspiration to PS but because there were only 3 and a half bucket of water I decided to hold it in. But walau eh! It's so torturing that I cannot tahan and I JUST HAD TO GO!

And guess how much I pooped.

.....
.....
.....

only 1 batang. Sweat ;=.=;

Ok so maybe batang is a bad penjodoh bilangan but I really dunno how else to describe the poop. You get the picture. LOL.

I thought it was gonna be like Afghanistan or prolly Iraq but well, it's solid like Pam's implant. ^.^/

So yea, this week has been really tiring and my patience has never been tested like it has been before. Let me reel back my memory.

Sunday night: Sew, FunFun, Tai Lou and Pikachu got into an accident. Car's damaged but thank God no one's badly injured. Sew however had a bad knock on her head. Accompanied FunFun and Tai Lou to make police report and settle car repair stuff. By the time everything ended it was already almost 4 am.

Monday: Machines was cancelled. Halelujah Amen! Went to look for sensei regarding the Japanese drama but he was mia -.-'

Tuesday: Skipped afternoon class to accompany Sew to Kuantan Specialist Centre for a check up cos she was really worried bout her head. She had a CT scan and the bill came to RM558 *mata terbeliak* Then had a surprise that sensei insisted that we present our drama on that day itself when yesterday he said we could submit it on Friday. Kancheong crazy pig sia! But (thank God again) he decided to be nice and said we could hand it in on Friday instead. Phew. At night, we shot our second scene. What I estimated would take about half an hour took up 2 whole damn hours! Walau eh can pengsan sia! To sum it all up Tuesday was all busy busy busy!

Wednesday: Did industrial wiring in the morning (4.5 hours!) and right after that shot our last scene for the drama. By the time it ended I was already very tired and grumpy and annoyed. Brr~

Thursday: Had a full schedule and at night it was Test 2 for Machines. After that my group members and I edited our Japanese drama. Yet again, what I had estimated to take up max 3-4 hours took us almost 10 hours! CAN. DIE.

Friday (today): Was in a really bad mood in the morning cos of the night before. Had Japanese class and sensei was almost 30 mins late! Grr. But anyway we presented our drama and imho our drama pales in comparison to others. Like seriously, even though we've spent sssooo much time on it! Still, I'm VERY glad that it's over =)

So that kinda explains my week. Really looking forward to tomorrow cos I can sleep in! Woots!

I've learned many things during these times. First, I am really amazed at how wonderful Sew's classmates are. Like veryyyy impressed, cos when the accident happened, the fella whose car got hit was very violent and almost punched Tai Lou. Sew was worried that he wouldn't be able to handle the situation so she called up one of her guy classmate to come help him out. In the end when Yaso and I reached the accident scene, there were 3-4 cars of them there. Like WOW. These are what I call true friends cos 'a friend in need is a friend indeed'.

This really got me thinking. If I were in her shoes, who would I have called? Soon and co? Sadly, no one other than my roommates cos I don't have friends here who are to that kind of extent. You get what I mean? This pretty much says a lot about of my social skills. I need to go out and be a friend to others instead of always shying away and be cool. Sigh. I need to change my attitude and be more friendly.

Secondly, I am way too impatient and I-must-have-my-way for my own good. Throughout this whole Japanese drama episode, I am always annoyed at my group members and if our face's colour changes literally according to our mood, mine would be as black as charcoal. No kidding. I'm annoyed because we're of different opinions. I'm annoyed because they are slow to get my idea. I'm annoyed because I think they're not efficient enough. Because the bladdy movie maker is so screwed up. The list goes on.

I'm always blaming them for everything but now when it is all over and I get to think through it, I am very very ashamed of myself. My emotions will be the death of me cos I always let them overcome me. We are all different from each other and we all have our own styles thus a lot of misunderstandings surfaced. However, for my part, I would never ever want to partner any of them in any assignments again. If possible. Cos we're just too different. Actually it's just me and them la.

Amidst all the down-times, I must truly say that I am amazed with Liyana cos even though the movie maker fucked up ssoooo many times, she can still remain calm and patient. She made me see her in a new light. Nothing lesbo though, thank you very much.

Hopefully I will take to heart what I've learned and be a better person.

Good night.

2009-03-15T23:20:00.000+08:00

It's 11.20 pm now and yet I haven't study for tomorrow's Eng Lab and Signals quizzes but I don't care cos I really gotta blog this down before I hilang semangat!

So yea SPM and STPM results are out and.....Adrian got 4-flat!

This is like shock kuasa 100000000 la!!!

(4 hours 40 minutes later......)

Just came back from the police traffic station.

Tai Lou got into an accident. Sew Heang had a concussion but we don't know how serious it is yet. Sook Fun and Pikachu are okay though. Thank God. Phew.

Too tired to say any further. Shall update if I have the time.

Now I just hope that I can survive tomorrow >.<|||

2009-03-14T02:06:00.000+08:00

If there is any parent whom i admire most, it would definitely have to be Karen Cheng.

She's a Perth (I think) based blogger who blogs about practically everything...from her favourite fashion finds to parenting to erm...just about anything!

Her blog is really entertaining and one can really feel her, as in her emotions whenever she's happy, depressed, proud or whatever feelings she's feeling at that time.

I especially love to hear stories of her kids. How she brings them up. How she's trying to give them every kid's dream childhood. The kind of relationship she has with them is one of a kind cos nowadays how many parents are actually not just their kids' parent but also their best friend?

I hope that one day when I've got the chance to be a mother I would be just like her. And perhaps even more!

Read her blog: http://www.karencheng.com.au/

2009-03-13T16:58:00.000+08:00

Yay it's the weekends again!

Oh wait...

I'm here... and it's not like there's anything to look forward to.

Bummer. *folds arm*

Anywayyyy...I went for the MINDS interview yesterday. I think I did ok but dunno la. It's funny how people would say anything just to get what they want (including me ;p). I mean like seriously some of the answers said is like so WTF??!!! Haha

There's this guy when asked what he would do when every time there's a new intake the parents would be horrified looking at the dorms' awful condition, he said that he's gonna kaji what is the cause (of the awful condition) and then bla bla bla. You can roughly guess what he said cos, well, that is the kind of answer people expect regardless of whether or not you would actually do it.

As for me, I was given 2 situations in which the first one is about the recent rapat umum (the gov loves to call it 'illegal gathering' dunno why) and the second one is about the interfaith dialouge which is gonna be held soon. Hmm...you can (again) guessed my answers.

I said I am supportive of them, which is true for the former, but the latter...I said it's a positive step towards integration/harmony/peace/etc because that's what they want to hear. If I had said that's all crap they would've definitely cross me out of the list. Like duh!

I want to be selected as a facilitator. So I say whatever I know they'd want to hear. Doesn't matter that it's not 100% true.

Which gets me back to my point. People are weird/funny, don't you think so? I think that's why it's so hard to find a friend and almost everyone's always trying to step on you to get to the top.

The 1 million dollar question would be this: Why should we (interviewer) choose you?

Hohoho One can really see the 'beautiful' colors of mankind here. I honestly bet that all of them are so not telling the perfect truth! You would gasp in disbelieve listening to some of their answers. Like 'sebab saya sangat bertanggungjawab'

Okay so maybe I should give them the benefit of doubt but to be a role model to the freshies???!! That's way overboard le. You really think you're that good/perfect/ho liao/whatever meh? *koff koff*

Shan't tell you what I said cos it's enough to give even myself goosebumps. Lol.

But I swear I'm not normally like that. It's only when the situation calls for it *shifty eyed*

"I never pretend to be something I'm not
You got what you see when you see what I've got
We live in the real world
I'm just a real girl
I know exactly where I stand
And all I can do is be true to myself
I don't need permission from nobody else
Cot this is the real world
I'm not a little girl
I know exactly who I am"

Hehe okok so maybe I don't really know who I am completely yet but maybe you can help me? ;p

2009-03-11T23:40:00.000+08:00

So yea...I went back over the weekends the other day and boy, did I not regret it!

Haha you must be thinking what a thing to say! Like 'did I not regret it'?! wtf

The thing is...I had not wanted to go back at first cos I just hate traveling such long hours on the bus. A major waste of time, I'd say. But anyway, I went home. And I must say, it's certainly the best weekend I've had at home since leaving home.

Once papa and I reached home, we (and also mom and Kelvin) went for dinner at my favourite hawker place at the lake gardens. Had my usual BBQ wings which is as yummy as ever! Writing bout it makes me crave for it even more! Had siew yoke, loh bak and pineapple fried rice too =D Barely a couple of hours and yet I'm already binging on food. Hehe.

I used to always look forward to Saturdays when I was still in school cos Saturdays usually mean having meals at ah ma's. Ah ma's cooking's the best! Of course, I'm now referring to mom's mom but nevertheless papa's mom is also a very good cook ;p

So she cooked one of her 'qiu pai'....sweet and sour 'hu pio' fu chow style!

It's actually fish maw. The fish's air bladder. Like wtf =O But I swear it's so damn good that I don't care that it's an organ even though I never NEVER take organs of what ever sort!

What really touched me is that mom had purposely kept it till I'm back before asking ah ma to cook it. Aww....I feel loved =D

Then at night went for dinner with papa's side of family at his usual hang out. Food was not too bad but I would have prefer to go for, say, 'nga poh fan'. And speaking of that I didn't get the chance to eat it cos papa wasn't very keen. Sigh, next time perhaps :(

Lunch on Sunday was at Sushi King cos mom got a RM30 voucher from HSBC. Hehe. Don't everybody love rebates! Food was so-so only. Still prefer Sakae Sushi. Their salmon karaage and soft shell crab temaki's the best! *drools~

Then we went to Prima at night. Had the best Ramly burger in town. Nyum!

Monday was home cooked food by mom. It's funny how I used to detest her cooking when I was still at home. But to be fair since I'm not at home anymore she cooks ho liao stuffs which is not the usual norm whenever I'm back. Hehe =)

I wish it's always like how it was last weekend at home. But I guess nothing's perfect and we just gotta savour every moment while we got the chance.

I felt quite bad towards Mandy though. We didn't go boating in the end cos it rained every day. Didn't really manage to spend much time with her even though she came back just for me. I know, where to find such a wonderful friend right? And I forgot to pass her the Enid Blyton books again >.<|||

Ginny's getting older and older every time I got back. Like obviously, duh, but I'm kinda scared to see her becoming old and eventually die T_T

Oh yea I went for a haircut too! I feel like a XMM or 'lala mui' but Zach says it's Japanese/Korean kawaii -.-" Seriously what's wrong with me wei! I never look good with china bangs and yet I still want to get it. Maybe cos somehow deep down I know that with the right hairdresser and chemistry I WILL look good with bangs! Haha obviously deluded!

So anyway that just about sums up my weekend.

Oh before I forgot....my best buy of the weekend: chic cards for only 99 cents from Tesco! A total steal cos i think they cost like almost 10 bucks(?) each normally. Hehe so you peeps be prepared to receive those cards on your birthdays!

HAHAHAHA

2009-02-24T01:24:00.001+08:00

Lent's starting tomorrow.

Think I'm gonna fast for lunch. And perhaps for blogs as well.

God knows how much I love food and blog hopping ;p

Tough times ahead man. LOL.

Anywayyy...I think I'm beginning to like some people whom I thought I would never ever like.

For instance, I used to think that Mar's a stuck up. But now we're good friends =D
Once you got through the barrier only can you know a person's true character.

And now I think maybe those threebies are not that bad after all. You just need to get to know them better. Hmm but I guess it's still to early to say anything. Heh.

That's why they always say 'Never judge a book by its cover'!

2009-02-22T19:53:00.000+08:00

HELLO HELLO
*waves frantically to sew and yaso*

Don't forget to drop some love yea!

2009-02-21T22:10:00.000+08:00

I finally got a new mouse

....And oh boy does it feel so damn good to be able to execute in just one click. Hehe.

I is one happy girl =D

So...my roomies and I went out today. Didn't buy much but my purchases are enough to burn a hole in my pocket >.<

New blue mouse = RM 19
Shampoo+Conditioner+HairTreatment+HairSerum = RM 72
Ear-rings for Yaso = RM 5
(since I lost one side of the one she borrowed me)
Handphone accessory = RM 3 (Hello Kitty!)
Wax = RM 31.90
Groceries = RM 41.65
Nail polish remover = RM 6.50

Damage = RM 179.05!!!

And that's not inclusive of lunch and drinks.

Walau eh. Luckily I didn't find any clothes or shoes which I like. Otherwise...I dare not even think about it. *shudders* But the hair products are really a steal la cos they're 50% off. How not to buy right?

*Turns to serious mode (read: emo)*

Ahem.

So yea...I think I'm beginning to see the light on why I'm here. Like really. Maybe?

We were discussing in cg last night on why sometimes when we pray, God didn't answer. I can't exactly remember who said what but anyway...one said it's all in God's timing and how much faith we have. Another that maybe what we prayed for is not in God's plans. Yet another how practical our prayer is. As in we can't be asking for a Ferrari when all we can afford is a Kancil. In this case maybe a secondhand one since Kancil is no more in production ;p You get the drift.

Anyway back to what I was saying...

Then Evelyn (I think) said how our prayers are unanswered sometimes because more often than not our prayers are always about me, I and myself and how it's always I want this I want that. There were few sharings and bla bla bla and to cut the story short, it kinda hit me when someone said that God is actually giving us what we asked for. Just that it is in another way instead of the usual conventional straight way.

For example, we ask God to grant us patience. What better way is there than to learn how to be patient through tough times?

And then, we ask God for good grades in exams. How la are we going to get the good grades when after we pray we do nothing about it but expect God to just bless us with it. Then we didn't get the grades we asked for but did atrociously. And we blame God for it. Why, when we pray we fail to see that God is actually answering us; by blessing us the 'factors'. In this case, good memory, alertness, good health and fair examiner. How can we expect God to help us when we ourselves didn't do anything to help ourselves? To let God help us? He has provided the way but if we didn't take the first step towards that way we could never achieve what we had prayed for.

Someone gave a good anecdote imo. Lets say A is always praying for B to receive Christ but one day B died. A then got angry and ask God,

"Why did You let B die when B haven't receive Christ?"

God answered, "Why didn't YOU share the good news with B when I have provided you with so many opportunities?"

B is dead. And B can never ever be saved. So don't you think that A is kinda accountable for it? Cos A never grab the chances and now it's too late?

Okay I know I'm very long-winded but what I'm trying to say is that the same thing applies to me (and all of us).

I have always prayed for God to lead me in His way and that I want to be like Jesus. After Form 6, I prayed to get good results for my STPM and to study a good course in a good university. I had hoped that I would study something bio or business related in Singapore.

Alas, the unexpected happened.

I did miserably for STPM and I didn't get into any of the Sg unis though my SMU application result still remain a mystery up till today but I assumed I didn't get in. Instead, I was offered a Degree in Electrical and Electronics Engineering in UMP. Major WTF sia.

I can still remember clearly how I felt when the results came in. A mixture of relief, disappointment, shock and gratefulness. Oh the horrors! Relieved and grateful that I got into a uni. Shock and disappointed that I got a Physics course in a 'God forsaken land'. Metaphorically speaking of course.

I was a bio student and I hated Physics. I looked up too highly of myself. I was too proud that I am a straight A SPM student hence I didn't put in enough effort for STPM. I have always envisioned myself to be all cool and enjoying my uni days in style.

But my dreams came crashing down when reality hit me.

I am now already into the 3/4 of my second year in UMP. I am not cool (read: sociable) and neither am I clubbing and partying my uni days away. I do not even have any specific group of close friends (like Mandy and co). In conclusion, I am not 'having the time of my life', in my own definition.

HOWEVER, I now begin to see the whys to my questions. God is teaching me to be humble like Jesus just as I have requested by putting me in an almost unknown uni. Most, if not all, of the people here are not the kind I usually hang out with. That's lesson #1. I am taken out of my comfort zone and forced to adapt to my new surroundings.

Lesson #2, I am actually drawing nearer to God cos I AM going to church and stuff here. If I had not gone to church at all during my few months in Sg, what more if I were to be there for few years? I think I would have strayed away cos I am so attracted to the appeals of city life.

Lesson #3, I had prayed for God to give me a course He thinks is most suitable for me. He gave me E&E. And after much deliberation, I am not very sure yet but by His grace I will excel in it. So actually it's ME who asked for it.

Lesson #3, I learn to be proud that I am a UMP student. This is a humbling experience because practically nobody heard of it before and I have to explain what and where it is to everyone who asks. Then they would give me the 'owh....oh-kay' look. It was embarrassing to do that in the beginning but now I'm actually quite happy to explain to those who ask ;p

Lesson #4, I brought all these onto myself. Should I have not been so overconfident but be hardworking in Form 6, I would have been in a better place than now. Just like what I said earlier. We must walk the talk. Take actions after praying.

There are many more lessons but these are all I can think of for now.

Haha I know I sound like I'm regretting lots of things but I am actually very glad and thankful I am here (minus those annoying people and moments sometimes LOL).

I am thankful because I got to know some really nice and genuine people like Sew Heang, Yasohtha, Lih Yin, Janice, Zeno and Mr Hunt. I really treasure them cos they're simple and sincere people, unlike the many many two-faced bitches and bastards out there who always want to step on you.

I am thankful because I learn to appreciate the small and simple things in everyday life, and can see more clearly how blessed I am.

I am thankful because I am studying what deemed to others as a very good and professional course though I beg to differ in the case of the lecturers. LOL. I still think that so far only En Nik fits the 'lecturer' title. I'm not saying that just cos I like him ok.

I am thankful because I can live more comfortably financial wise since I got PTPTN and tuition fee is very cheap compared to elsewhere. Besides, the benefactors (read: parents and sisters) have been very generous. Hooray to more allowance!

So in conclusion, be careful of what you pray for. ROFLMAO!

No no, what I actually mean is that even though what we pray for is not answered (you think) doesn't mean that God is not answering. Maybe yes in certain cases but most of the time we should look at our surroundings to really realise that God IS actually answering us. Just not the kind of answer we expect but in God's own special way.

Okay I think I'm just gonna stop here. It's been a really long post eh.

Thank you for actually bothering to read this =)

2009-02-19T23:53:00.001+08:00

Joke of the day:-

Doraemon : Jangan guna potentiometer lagi untuk part A!!!
Jessy : Huh?! Apa tu potentiometer?
*looks all over at the equipments*
Mana potentiometer tu? Ini ke?
*points at function generator*
MushyMaro : *OoO* potentiometer tu variable resistor la... -.-"
SazoRenkon: -.-"

Major omgwtfbanana situation I tell you. Damn embarassing ok! Already done dunno how many labs but still dunno what a potentiometer is.

Okay so I wanted to post up a picture of a potentiometer but bloody blogger is so sssllloooowwww. Or is it the server's fault? Hmm...whatever *shrugs* Go google it IF you really wanna know what it is :p

On a totally unrelated note, I found out today a shocking revelation! Gosh, I really don't know if I could ever look straight into theirs eyes again without disgust. Well of course I can't say what or who is it here cos after all the net is a very very dangerous place. Don't you agree? And..and to think that I...urgh! I just can't spill it out. Thank God He sent an 'angel'. LOL.

2009-02-18T13:38:00.001+08:00

Hmm..nothing to blog actually. Just saja sign in cos the BLOODY SERVER JUST WON'T OPEN ANY OTHER SERVER EXCEPT BLOGGER. Walau eh. I guess it's fated. LOL.

Anywayy...let me bore you with my 'happenings' while I was away.

1. I've calmed down over my car incident. Lucky YOU. Haha.
2. TuaChi went for an appendix (appendicks? no pun intended ok) op the other day. She's getting better though =D
3. Jc's still mia -.-' No surprise.
4. Did quite well for NM. Praise God!
5. But did quite atrociously for EM. Oops.
6. Gained (and is still gaining) weight :O omgwtfbanana. Must really start jogging like really soon.
7. Heart Mandy, Lydia and ZuLee for being sssoooo caring. MUACKS muacks muacks :*
8. Realised that I wasn't in Shirley's 'me and ppl important to me' album on fb. Michelle and Lydia are in though. Hmm again, no surprise. *but ain't me important to yyyoouuuu?* Haha

Okay that's all I can think of right now.

Sayonara LOVESSSS

2009-02-15T23:01:00.000+08:00

OMG I AM SSOOOO FREAKING PISSED!!!!

BLOODY YING YING CAUSED MY PRECIOUS BABY TO GET SCRATCHED. SEE IF I DON'T FUCK HER UPSIDE DOWN. SWEAR TO GOD I WILL. BITCH.

Ok so maybe that's not very sensible of me to do/say that BUT I DON'T CARE. Why oh why am I so obliging??!! I really really shouldn't have borrowed her my car ;(

But it's all too late now. Dowan kena scratch also kena scratch ed. What is there left to do except make her pay for the repainting (which she is willing to)? But now my baby is so gonna be cacat :(

GRR I AM SO ANGRY!!! Tambah pula I am itching all over after kayak.

2009-02-14T02:21:00.000+08:00

OMG

I just realised that someone else did read my blog. *and she began to see the light* Cos someone commented on one of my posts. And to think that I didn't even realise that till now. -.-"

Like wth!!! Haha i don't know whether I should be happy or not. I mean like I've wanted to keep this as personal and unknown as possible but oh well...I've anticipated it but I guess it's just earlier than what I thought. Sigh. Does that mean that I can't write certain stuffs say like how I much I hate X anymore?

Shoo shoo~ you homo sapiens. There ain't anything here for you to feast your eyes on! LOL Obviously just kidding.....erm not? Haha ok so maybe it's just only ONE and yet here I am making such a big fuss out of it. Still...I dunno >.<

Whatever la. I got many other stuffs to worry about and btw I dunno who the hell is that commenter so I guess it doesn't really matter..(?)

Yay yay I'm gonna go kayak-ing in less than 6 hours time! Not a bad way to spend Valentine's Day eh?

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

2009-02-13T17:03:00.000+08:00

konnichiwa!
hajimimashite.
watashi wa jess lyn desu.
UMP no gakusei desu.
semmon wa genki desu.
ni jyu nissai.
Perak kara kima shita.
dokushin desu.
dozo yoroshiku.

LOLOLOLOLLLLL...

2009-02-12T23:54:00.000+08:00

I miss living Singapore. Like really really A LOT!!! =(

Prof Normah really annoyed me (and a whole bunch of others) to no end today.

-.-

Seriously, I've always got this uncomfortable feeling around her but today's just the last straw. And what I'm really dissatisfied about this is that even though I'm unhappy with with her I've still got to put on a big smile and act like nothing's happen in front of her. Damn torturous sia! Brr...

Back to why I'm so annoyed.

She asked us to prepare a speech outline on Tuesday and to present it today. She wanted 2 volunteers only so after Am presented his I thought that maybe I should grab the chance and present mine. Boy am I so wrong! There was something wrong with the line spacing thing and it just won't 'single-space'. Am and Bob couldn't correct it too and I just don't know why it's like that. Then all of a sudden she became so fired up and snapped "Don't waste time. Take it (pendrive) out. Next!". I swear everyone's like "Huh wtf. What's happening?"

Damn it. What's wrong with her??!! It's not even time's up yet. Why can't she just correct me on my points and format? Why is the bloody line spacing so important that just because of that she refuses to look at my outline? I felt like shite. I mean like who wouldn't after being rejected like that right? For an invalid reason sammo! brr...

But I wasn't the only one feeling that way (prove that it's not me! haha). Later on Flower, Liana, Nabilah, Mariati and Ming Jie was also like "What the hell is wrong with her?!" Haih. And it's not only this time. Even in our previous lectures she's always all high and mighty. Just because she has a Prof in front of her name? Dang, dah lah I always do badly in my assessments....I dread knowing my marks. =(

Really hope that she has nothing against me and that she probably just had a bad day. PMS perhaps? Hehe

Anywayyyy....

I'm really sick and tired of all the silly remarks of Soon and the gang. Like seriously....GROW UP!! They have been teasing me and Ah Piow mercilessly since beginning of this sem. And today!!! Piow and I was talking in front and then all of a sudden someone called me and him. We turned back to find....THE WHOLE BUNCH OF THEM WITH THEIR PHONE CAMERA PHONE WAITING IN POSITION TO SNAP A PICTURE OF US TOGETHER!!! Walau eh...I dunno whether to be angry or to laugh! Cis

It's funny in the beginning but when the same kind of shit repeat everyday you kinda get fed up with it, ya know?

I hereby declare that there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING going on between me and Ah Piow. Not in the past, not now, and definitely not in future! Brr..

Why can't we all just be normal friends and..and talk bout how-are-yous and what's-going-on. Seems like each time they open their mouth to talk to me all which came out is Piow-this and Piow-that. Get a life!

Hmph!

I'm not worried and couldn't care less in the beginning but their incessant teasings are getting overboard. I'm just worried that SOMETHING will become out of NOTHING. Get what I mean?

Lets just hope that we'll all get over it soon.

Now gotta rush off for my reports and assignments. Ahem *shifty eyes*

Oyasumi nasai!

2009-02-08T22:45:00.000+08:00

like seriously.....

MALAYSIAN POLITICS SHOULD GET THE BEST COMEDY OF THE YEAR

-.-

2009-02-08T03:12:00.001+08:00

Gosh I should really REALLY go get myself a new mouse. My current one is driving me crazy!!! Haha it's so true how a woman will try to save as much as possible on something that she needs but splurge on nonsensical items. I have wanted (needed) a new mouse for the longest time I could remember but because a good one costs RM30-40++ I decided that I might as well save the money since my mouse is still usable unless it's having a bad day. But now...it always crank up and doesn't click/hold properly. And it's not even that old. Hmph! Lousy LG!

I'm halfway through The Diary Of A young Girl now. Up to the part I am now, I feel that I can relate to Anne quite well. Especially how I can't seem to get along with my mother and sisters. Unlike her, I don't have many tiffs with them since I'm away from home now. But what bothers me much is that I've been having this feeling for quite some time up till now; at age 21 years+ 9 months. And Anne is 13 years old. wtfbanana -.-"

Now you tell me, is it normal for one to be feeling like that at my age? Well to be fair I do not dislike them, I just....I don't know how to describe it, but neither do I love them to death. Geddit? Omg if anyone reads this I'm sooo gonna be in trouble. It'll be a major WTF. Haha. Gawd...can laugh sammo. I guess it's no one's fault cos it's kinda mutual. They do not say it but I think deep down we all know there's something not right. It's just like how jc and i know that there's something wrong with tc and yet none of us wanna confront it. Like totally wtf man.

I really wonder what the future holds for us all. What is going to be of us? I don't know man....I really don't and sometimes, just sometimes, I don't even dare think about it.

I feel like I'm at the point of my life where I really need to figure out lotsa things but I just don't know how. The foundation on which I grew up on seem to have lost its hold on me more and more each day. Feels like shit most of the time and trust me, it ain't much fun. And this now brings me o another thought. Could it be possible that the devil's playing with my thoughts? Lord, I pray that You'll give me the strength to get through this phase. It better be just a phase....I hope *cross fingers

Oh yea! Before I forgot...My second impromptu speech assessment was on The Importance Of My Family In My life. Like wtfbanana. Why must they pick this kind of topic??!! Sentimental and personal is not exactly my forte. Needless to say I did like shit. No idea why I was so nervous I could get a heart attack. Brr. It's so damn frustrating le....I'm the one who's suppose to have the best command of English but my speech was the worst! So fail! I don't know why but when it comes to my turn, I sorta went blank. Why is it so easy for the rest to talk about their families so lovingly but not me? Even my language skill couldn't help me. This may sound weird but I'm really sad....cos it feels like it makes not much of a difference even if I ain't got one!

JESSY IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP TO REALITY AND NOT DWELL ON FANTASIES ANYMORE!!! YOU'RE GONNA BE 22 YEARS SOON FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! STOP BEING SO CHILDISH AND START ACTING LIKE AN ADULT!!!

But I don't wanna act like an adult...I want to BE an adult.

Guess I am one troubled girl eh? Hope tomorrow's not any worse.

2009-02-08T02:27:00.000+08:00

I ..... am lost for words. Writer's block eh?

Gosh it's been quite long since I last blogged and do I miss blogging....NOT!

Haha I guess I'm just not a writing person. I can write well, no problem, but to write creatively...man I just suck at that.

Hmm...Zeno still haven't given up on asking me bout this (blog). Why am I so secretive le? Gosh I myself dunno but for now I just don't feel like letting anyone into my 'world' yet cos all my entries so far are damn emo and quite personal >.<

This is what UMP does to you. Lol.

ANYWAY, I'm really not into the mood to write/blog so I shall just end here.

p/s: I did atrociously for me second impromptu speech. Fail sia..... -.-"

2009-01-30T02:50:00.000+08:00

Lets see....things I am thankful for this CNY:

1. Good food!
2. Family and friends (no matter how irritating they are sometimes =D)
3. Quality time with some of my best girlfriends (i miss them already :()
4. Ang Pau $$$$

Thats a lot of blessings ;p

But guess I still have a long way to go in this count-your-blessings thing. Heh.

2009-01-25T14:32:00.000+08:00

It's the eve of CNY. And yet I'm feeling nothing of the festivity. No surprise.

I'm beginning to wonder if God's testing my family.
It all started late last year when papa suddenly called me during class (Eng Lab III, to be precise) to say that (Golden Hill) ah ma's going for colonoscopy due to cancer of the colon.
Then just before Christmas, (Sing Kang)ah kong sorta went a lil bit senile and was bedridden for a while due to low blood sugar and organ failure.
And this year just as school was starting, mom fell down and had multiple fractures on her left elbow.
She's on leave for 3 months.
Another 6 months before she can pick up the racket again.
And just yesterday, mom revealed that the same ah ma has got bone cancer.

And if you think that's all you're wrong T.T

(Golden hill) Ah ma has accepted Christ. Hallelujah Amen!!! The problem now is that she's staying with my uncle and this particular uncle is somehow very anti-Christian. For what reason, I don't know. He does know about my grandma's wish to be baptized before she passes on but just last week he got all fired up when he got to know about it again. You guessed it, things aren't pretty but we try to maintain the harmony (?).

It's really great that ah ma has accepted Christ. I hope that her faith will only grow stronger amidst the pain she is going through. You know something? I used to really dislike her for all the mean things she's done but seeing her now, I actually feel sorry for her. If I were in her shoes, I think I would have committed suicide cos bone cancer hurts very very very much. Mom says that drugs aren't really working on her. Neither is her chemotherapy. And she's shrinking! Sometimes it hurts so bad that she shivers and cry. Fastest is half a year and it might drag on for a few years, if you get what I mean. And this is barely her first month.

Why her? Why is there such a painful incurable sickness? No one deserves to be tormented like that surely no matter who they are.

And now I think I'm also gonna die of cancer. My papa's side especially, has a long history of cancer. I'm scared. Very very scared. I just hope that when (if) it's my turn, it'll be quick and as painless as possible.

This is gonna be an uneventful CNY.

Shalom!

2009-01-22T00:14:00.000+08:00

Gosh, so many kinds of emotions has been going on in me that I just don't know what to feel and how to react. And just recently, I confirmed that I have...erm...don't exactly know how to describe it but it's like whenever I read something (novels, news, etc) half of my mind seems to still be in hibernate mode O.O

Geez what's wrong with me man? Cos I just don't seem to really register what I'm reading at any period of time. It's just as though I've put myself in reading mode but my mind is unwilling. It just kinda drifts off unconsciously and then I'll snap from it after a while and I won't get what I was reading. And then there are also times when I read just for the sake of reading without actually taking in what I'm reading.

This is really scary. It makes me feel as though I'm stupid and I have lousy memory :(

What am I to do??!! I don't wanna be stupid =(((

It must be all those boring electric text books' fault.

At times like this, I'll be all emo and really hate myself.

Cos up till now I still cling on to this little flicker of hope that somehow someday my life will change for the better. Kinda like at the snap of fingers.

Sigh...yes I know I sound really pathetic and you know what? I just don't care anymore. It sucks real much to feel as though you're one, if not many, steps behind personal development. everybody has moved on. Moved on to greener pastures. But old me is still neither here nor there.

Does this mean that I'm coveting my neighbour?

It's always easier to say that one wants to be motivated, to change for the better. But when it comes to the action part, nothing sorta happens. Strange, isn't it how sometimes human works.

I think I'm now in the phase where I'm actually suppose to be maybe 10 years ago but somehow the hormones in me got confused and thus the state I am now. Can life get more tragic?

Apparently yes. Provided if I'm diagnosed with some kind of disease or I lose a body part (God forbid!). But the thing is, I do KNOW where to turn to but the tenacity, or should I say the pigheaded, in me just refuse to do so!!!

This is just so frustrating!

I guess I really need to count my blessings instead of always concentrating on the bad and being negative.

2009-01-18T01:33:00.000+08:00

I'm tired.

Give me some time and I'll be as good as new.

2009-01-13T00:40:00.000+08:00

I had to prepare a 2-3 minute long speech for my Public Speaking class tomorrow and this is what I composed:

A Loved Belonging

I don’t know about you, but when I first got this title I had to think really hard of a thing which means a lot to me. Something which is of so much importance that I would be functioning all wrong if I was to be ever without it. Exaggeration, yes? Maybe to some, but for me personally, my normal routine would definitely be disrupted if one day I wake up to find...my favourite pillow missing from its usual spot in bed.
Yes, you heard me right. My loved belonging is not a high-end apparel and neither is it a sophisticated gadget. It is however just an old and humble pillow. Some might even say it’s smelly. Shocking, isn’t it? Hardly anyone would think that a person like me would have a soft spot for such a thing.
Rectangular in shape and hardly any bigger than an A4 paper, I have had this pillow of mine for as long as I could remember. Over the years, its case has frayed for once it used to be a spanking white colour but now it has turned into the colour of the sky on a gloomy day. It has even lost its fluff. But just as the saying goes, ‘beauty lies in the eyes of its beholder’; I still think that my pillow is the best. Many a time, my mother tries to dispose of it but each time I manage to stop her from doing the unthinkable. Mother – 0, daughter -1.
Even though it has lost its physical appeal, what makes it so important to me is the sentimental value it holds. I can still clearly remember the warm feeling I get whenever I snuggle it. And now being here, it reminds me of home and it is comforting to have something familiar in the midst of unfamiliarity.
I do admit that I am too big a girl to still clung on to what most would say childish and that sooner or later I would have to give it up. But for now, I would like to savour every moment I have with my little pillow until the day it is time to be rid of it.
********************************

2009-01-12T02:28:00.000+08:00

Gosh...I should really really stop doing this night creature thing. It's getting to me and I don't think I can keep up any longer with normal stuff if I don't change. Lol.

Went to cg for the first time ever on Friday. It felt kinda awkward to be honest. I dunno why and if Janice and Zeno both felt that way too but it's really weird. What's wrong with me man?! However the one thing which I really like and gotta admire is their bond. I mean like they're really close and all and there just seem to be never ending laughter around. This is what Christianity means, I think- to love your neighbours as yourselves. Hopefully (God willing) I will attend cg faithfully every week and then get to know the church members better cos shamefully, after 1 and a half years, I've yet to befriend any of them *hides self* I think this will be a better sem =D

Hmm...The Gem of Life has somehow lose its appeal to me. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE tvb dramas but I guess not having subtitles kinda bores me cos I don't understand everything uttered in cantonese. And the fact that it has 80 episodes don't help much either. Hee.

I just realised that all my posts has more than one subject. Never once it's concentrated on one topic. I guess I do have a lot to say. Hee.

2009-01-09T02:01:00.000+08:00

What am I doing with my life?

I've got only one chance to live so I don't wanna throw it away.

I'm getting Farizan again this sem for Analog Electronics II. God please help me. I think I did way below average for last sem in AEI cos she revealed that 10 people out of 34 (?) got A's. I got B- -.-"

Walau eh! And to think that she's a supposedly 'generous examiner'. LOL. I sucked big time.

I think I'm gonna freak out soon. I can feel that assignments and stuffs are creeping up on me. Someone please save me before I drown in this sea of....whatever.

Man, I'm really losing touch with English. Not only that, I'd think that I'm pretty much losing touch of everything. O.O

I've never felt lazier and stupider in my life than now. So much that I do not even know what's the difference of V and Ah in a battery. How a battery works. What to do if a fuse is blowed without replacing it. But to be fair almost everyone in class didn't really know the answers to these problems. Still...that ain't no excuse that I DO NOT know them. I wouldn't trust me if I'm ever an engineer. Lol.

I hate this feeling of not knowing what I'm supposed to. It makes me feel small and useless. Like today in Electrical Machine and Power Systems class, I don't know why the hell am I so FRIGGING nervous for when it was almost my turn to introduce myself. I swear my heart was thumping so hard that it practically jumped out. You tell me, silly or not?! And then during Engineering Lab IV, dunno for what reason I was so afraid to answer the lecturer's questions.

This is so not me.

I used to be so confident and all... WHERE ARE YOU, JESSY?! WHERE ARE YOUR BALLS??!! It's not like I've got any but you get what I mean.

Sigh T.T"

Anyway I hope things will get better soon. *cross fingers*

I miss my best girlfriends.

2009-01-08T02:24:00.000+08:00

Me and my nottie nnootttiee roomie! I like the last one better
cos I think we look really coooool! Obviously syok sendiri. LOL

I'm really glad that I got to know this two fellas cos good friends
like them don't always come by.

Cheers mate!

2009-01-08T01:56:00.000+08:00

Can someone please knock me on my head so that I will wake up from all these illusions!!!

Gosh I thought I've realised my mistakes and gonna change but I guess just like the saying goes, 'a leopard never changes its spots'. Sigh...

I think I'm watching too many dramas that now I want to be that person/character or to be in that condition. Man, I need to slap myself and take a bloody good look at myself.

Who am I kidding, huh? I'm already in my 2nd year 2nd sem but till now I honestly don't really much clue of what I'm studying. Is all this worth it? The fact that I'm not gonna excel in this field like ever? Sheesh what the hell am I saying man.

Of course I want to be the successful engineer but how am I gonna be one if I'm so ignorant and clueless bout so many things??!!

This is so frustrating!!! >.<"

Anyway, I'm glad that mom's operation went well. Thank God!!! Haha but I really wonder how is she gonna stand without tennis for the next 6 months. LOL.

2009-01-04T20:21:00.000+08:00

I guess sometimes I do wish that you would neither call nor expect me to call back just for the sake of calling.

Calling just for the sake of calling holds no purpose, ya know. It's excruciating enough having all those 'forced conversations' and rather than being in one, I prefer none at all if it's like this.

2009-01-04T02:47:00.000+08:00

Gosh I really can't help but wish that I'm in Forks(as in the town in Twilight for you Twilight-virgin)

Actually I think I'm kinda halfway there already since it has been raining like forever here ;p

But where's my Edward??!! Haha in my dreams only I suppose -.-

And speaking of that, I'm kinda (okay, maybe more like really) wondering when it's going to be my turn to be Bella? I see people around me getting hitched like you're snapping your fingers but me..? Is it me or perhaps it is just fated or whatsoever? I seem to be repelling all those 'good' ones. Lol.

Both my sisters are getting married soon. And to be perfectly honest, I'm scared. I know, I know...one might think wtf am I scared of? I myself don't really know. Maybe I'm scared that they will change and that somehow we won't be close anymore...? But really...it's not as though we are now >.<

Whatever.

Amidst all these questions , dilemmas blablabla....I'm truly happy that they've found their other halves. After years of having to avoid the question on where and who they're living with in sg, I gotta say it's all black and white now. As in like it's not (exactly) wrong for them to live together anymore cos they're getting married now. Make sense?

Looking back actually I realised that I don't quite know my sisters. Scary huh? Maybe it's because I practically grew up without them. And even when they're around I don't seem to have much recollection of things we do together, etc. And I cannot deny that I'm quite sad by this cos I sometimes feel like I do not belong in the family O.O

I know, I know...kinda shocking right? I guess many if not all do not see this coming.

Yes, they (and parents too in this case) always shower me with gifts and all but..but....but as much as I like being pampered like that.....I can't help but do not FEEL the connection there. You know like how whether you're on the wavelength or you're not. And in this case, I dont think I am. Sigh...What the hell is wrong with me?

Am I just a selfish whore?

Gee I sound like an emo wreck.

2009-01-02T23:13:00.000+08:00

It has been raining forever since I arrived in uni. Wouldn't say I hate it cos I luvluvluv the snuggly feeling you get when you wake in a drizzling morning. Ahhh.... this is what I call sheer bliss ;p Lucky for me that all classes has been canceled this week thus the ability to sleep in everyday.

Anyway, I've kinda started on the Twilight mania. It's hard to not get caught up in all those hype. Hehe. I just love how Edward and Bella's love is so sweet and innocent unlike your typical Hollywood comefuckmecosithinkilikeyou kind which is really refreshing. Lol. Finished the first book and now waiting to get hold of the second one. But I really can't believe it that Popular is actually out of stock le! Must book sammo. Chey! And you'd think that amidst the economy meltdown people would want to ikat perut a bit >.<

Saw this really cute doggie when I was at this hawker place. She's such a poor thing and I can't tell you how much I want to bring her home there and then. It really breaks my heart every time I see a creature like her. Hurt and homeless. all the time when I was there she was like wandering around aimlessly. I dunno what she's looking for. Food? Not quite likely cos she didn't even 'chai' me when I tried to tempt her with some bones. Maybe she's just hoping that a kind soul would take her in? I can (kinda) feel her sorrow when I look at her eyes. Can cry man. Gosh, when I have my own place next time I'll keep as many of these 'pariah' dogs as possible. IMHO I really think that sometimes it's better to 'chi' pets rather than people cos all they want is some tlc and they will love you back unconditionally . Maybe not as close as God but you get what I mean. SIGH...

On a brighter note, I think I'm going to start a book collection =D

Just added Sophie Kinsella's latest book to the family. May you grow and be fruitful! Hehe

2009-01-02T02:04:00.000+08:00

I'M BACK

BIGGER AND BETTER

LOL

;p

hop in and enjoy the ride

There's always

...a little truth behind every "just kidding",...a little knowledge behind every "I don't know",...a little emotion behind every "I don't care",...and a little pain behind every "it's okay"..

Hello

Faith

First 2010 post!

Short note

Some pics from Penang

So many things to blog about yet so little time

An angry girl is a hungry girl

Shorties...a mishmash of everything!

Crazy little thing called LOVE

And then it dawned upon her

What's this *points around* supposed to be

How my blog almost became a forgotten love child

Wedding Gift

The Story of the Pencil

sg lembing photos =D

~

...a little truth behind every "just kidding",
...a little knowledge behind every "I don't know",
...a little emotion behind every "I don't care",
...and a little pain behind every "it's okay"..

What's this points around supposed to be