There's always

...a little truth behind every "just kidding",
...a little knowledge behind every "I don't know",
...a little emotion behind every "I don't care",
...and a little pain behind every "it's okay"..

Hello

So, yeah. Have been MIA-ing for a while. Truth is, at one point I got really uncomfortable with how the internet trespasses almost, if not all, boundaries of privacy. Heck I was even seriously contemplating whether or not to deactivate my FB account. Talk about paranoia. Lol.

There is actually another reason: I seem to always find myself at this never-ending crossroad in life. I don't really know how to explain it but it's like almost every other day I'd wake up feeling moody and insecure cos I don't really know what I want, how I feel, what to think, etc. There's always this ongoing battle inside of me where a part of me is really thankful for all that I have and wants to make the best out of where I am now but these feeling never last cos up came this other evil part of me which is always unsatisfied, hard to please and angry.

:(

I hate feeling this way and I don't want to be feeling this way cos it's eating me up. I don't really like me sometimes. That's why I've gone AWOL cos I didn't think I was in the position to write wtf. I really really hope that this is just a phase.

This is just a phase.
This is just a phase.
This is just a phase.
This is just a phase.
This is just a phase.
This is just a phase.

It should work. Right?

p/s: To my sisters and best friends, sorry I was so detached for quite some time. Promise will make it up to you :)

Today, like any other, has been another could have.

Sorry that I don't write like I used to anymore.

I'm tired. Just so very tired.

And time. I need more time, lotsa time, cos enough never really seem to be enough.

Faith

Of the many emails that I receive, this has got to be my #1 all-time favourite.

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Meet Faith the walking dog

This dog was born on Christmas Eve in the year 2002. He was born with 2 legs - He of course could not walk when he was born. Even his mother did not want him.

His first owner also did not think that he could survive and he was thinking of 'putting him to sleep'.
But then, his present owner, Jude Stringfellow, met him and wanted to take care of him.
She became determined to teach and train this little dog to walk by himself..
She named him 'Faith'..

In the beginning, she put Faith on a surfboard to let him feel the movement.
Later she used peanut butter on a spoon as a lure and reward
for him for standing up and jumping around.
Even the other dog at home encouraged him to walk.
Amazingly, only after 6 months, like a miracle,
Faith learned to balance on his hind legs and to jump to move forward.
After further training in the snow, he could now walk like a human being.

Faith loves to walk around now.
No matter where he goes, he attracts people to him.
He is fast becoming famous on the international scene and
has appeared on various newspapers and TV shows.
There is now a book entitled 'With a Little Faith' being published about him.
He was even considered to appear in one of Harry Potter movies.

In life there are always undesirable things, so in order to feel better
you just need to look at life from another direction.
I hope this message will bring fresh new ways of thinking to everyone
and that everyone will appreciate and be thankful for each beautiful day.
Faith is the continual demonstration of the strength and wonder of life.

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Amazing, isn't it?

If a dog can do it, beating the odds when the impossible was almost impossible, so can we.

So can I!

First 2010 post!

Hey peeps!

Gosh I really did the whole mia thing huh? Sorry because as lame as it sounds, I was actually busy! LOL

Anywayyy guess what greeted me today when I log in to my blog account..........

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THIS!!!

Okay, so fine, it's not the exact format plus there's also JieChi's uhm *patronizing* uhm comment. Haha! Jie, I suppose Kelsen means things are or going to be good?

These comments to me are like the holy grail of amateur blogging la! Cos I really didn't expect any other people besides those handful ones to know bout this. *points around* So they (c0mments) really took me by surprise *shy

It's so weird though that all the commentators should go by the pseudonym of 'Anonymous' and that they all appear at this post. But whatever reasons they may be, THANK YOU ALL for the wonderful comments! They really made my day :)))) Cos I've never regarded my posts to be creative or original *sniffs Well obviously it IS original cos they're all my ramblings and heartfelt pour-outs but what I mean is original in the sense of authors/writers' kind of literature originality. Ya know? And! To think that the person who left the last comment actually took the liberty to read my old posts as well....boy I must be really interesting! Haha =D

To all you anonymous-es, please, do leave your names as well in future yeah?

Okay, enough of the comments hooha. Moving on...

You know, Christmas wasn't so bad after all though the days leading up to it were pretty depressing. The KL trip which was suppose to be a relaxing getaway and catching ups with the bestfriends was more like bah humbug. Those well-meaning but annoying aunties just *had* to make me feel so guilty about not joining carolling. Cis. And there's also some....stuff. Sigh.

Anyway here's a couple of photos from the morning service.

Girls I practically grew up with <3

We used to be smaller than him!

Cooked dinner and I'd give it a 7/10 cos the roast was fantastic (and the sauce too!) but the kedegree was an epic fail. Haha! Luckily chicky saved the day cos if not it'll be like disastrous Christmas dinner 101. LOL. Both recipes are from Jamie Oliver's website and can be easily found though I did improvise a bit on the roast. Hehe. So now I present to you....Christmas dinner ala Jamie Oliver plus desserts by the mom:

Goodness in the making.

This is really horrible, even by my standard. Dunno why it turned out like that even though I followed the recipe as closely as possible. Sigh.

The ice-cream cake which isn't really ice-cream cake. It's frozen sponge cake + cream + blueberry filling. Yummerz~

Homemade mango pudding. Classic favourite <3

So yea, that pretty much sums up Christmas for me.

The new semester has started and gosh I hope that I've really learned my lesson this time and buck up! All the more cos I'm starting my fyp this sem. Oh God! Finally confirmed my supervisor and title yesterday and guess what I'm doing! Telecommunications! It's wireless mesh networking with cryptography actually but even now I'm starting to get the jitters already cos I have to learn the C language all over again. And, "cryptography - study and practice of hiding information" does sound intimidating, no?

I think I'll just have to stop here cos the internet has gone mental, again T____T