Lent's starting tomorrow.

Think I'm gonna fast for lunch. And perhaps for blogs as well.

God knows how much I love food and blog hopping ;p

Tough times ahead man. LOL.

Anywayyy...I think I'm beginning to like some people whom I thought I would never ever like.

For instance, I used to think that Mar's a stuck up. But now we're good friends =D
Once you got through the barrier only can you know a person's true character.

And now I think maybe those threebies are not that bad after all. You just need to get to know them better. Hmm but I guess it's still to early to say anything. Heh.

That's why they always say 'Never judge a book by its cover'!

HELLO HELLO
*waves frantically to sew and yaso*

Don't forget to drop some love yea!

I finally got a new mouse

....And oh boy does it feel so damn good to be able to execute in just one click. Hehe.

I is one happy girl =D

So...my roomies and I went out today. Didn't buy much but my purchases are enough to burn a hole in my pocket >.<

New blue mouse = RM 19
Shampoo+Conditioner+HairTreatment+HairSerum = RM 72
Ear-rings for Yaso = RM 5
(since I lost one side of the one she borrowed me)
Handphone accessory = RM 3 (Hello Kitty!)
Wax = RM 31.90
Groceries = RM 41.65
Nail polish remover = RM 6.50

Damage = RM 179.05!!!

And that's not inclusive of lunch and drinks.

Walau eh. Luckily I didn't find any clothes or shoes which I like. Otherwise...I dare not even think about it. *shudders* But the hair products are really a steal la cos they're 50% off. How not to buy right?

*Turns to serious mode (read: emo)*

Ahem.

So yea...I think I'm beginning to see the light on why I'm here. Like really. Maybe?

We were discussing in cg last night on why sometimes when we pray, God didn't answer. I can't exactly remember who said what but anyway...one said it's all in God's timing and how much faith we have. Another that maybe what we prayed for is not in God's plans. Yet another how practical our prayer is. As in we can't be asking for a Ferrari when all we can afford is a Kancil. In this case maybe a secondhand one since Kancil is no more in production ;p You get the drift.

Anyway back to what I was saying...

Then Evelyn (I think) said how our prayers are unanswered sometimes because more often than not our prayers are always about me, I and myself and how it's always I want this I want that. There were few sharings and bla bla bla and to cut the story short, it kinda hit me when someone said that God is actually giving us what we asked for. Just that it is in another way instead of the usual conventional straight way.

For example, we ask God to grant us patience. What better way is there than to learn how to be patient through tough times?

And then, we ask God for good grades in exams. How la are we going to get the good grades when after we pray we do nothing about it but expect God to just bless us with it. Then we didn't get the grades we asked for but did atrociously. And we blame God for it. Why, when we pray we fail to see that God is actually answering us; by blessing us the 'factors'. In this case, good memory, alertness, good health and fair examiner. How can we expect God to help us when we ourselves didn't do anything to help ourselves? To let God help us? He has provided the way but if we didn't take the first step towards that way we could never achieve what we had prayed for.

Someone gave a good anecdote imo. Lets say A is always praying for B to receive Christ but one day B died. A then got angry and ask God,

"Why did You let B die when B haven't receive Christ?"

God answered, "Why didn't YOU share the good news with B when I have provided you with so many opportunities?"

B is dead. And B can never ever be saved. So don't you think that A is kinda accountable for it? Cos A never grab the chances and now it's too late?

Okay I know I'm very long-winded but what I'm trying to say is that the same thing applies to me (and all of us).

I have always prayed for God to lead me in His way and that I want to be like Jesus. After Form 6, I prayed to get good results for my STPM and to study a good course in a good university. I had hoped that I would study something bio or business related in Singapore.

Alas, the unexpected happened.

I did miserably for STPM and I didn't get into any of the Sg unis though my SMU application result still remain a mystery up till today but I assumed I didn't get in. Instead, I was offered a Degree in Electrical and Electronics Engineering in UMP. Major WTF sia.

I can still remember clearly how I felt when the results came in. A mixture of relief, disappointment, shock and gratefulness. Oh the horrors! Relieved and grateful that I got into a uni. Shock and disappointed that I got a Physics course in a 'God forsaken land'. Metaphorically speaking of course.

I was a bio student and I hated Physics. I looked up too highly of myself. I was too proud that I am a straight A SPM student hence I didn't put in enough effort for STPM. I have always envisioned myself to be all cool and enjoying my uni days in style.

But my dreams came crashing down when reality hit me.

I am now already into the 3/4 of my second year in UMP. I am not cool (read: sociable) and neither am I clubbing and partying my uni days away. I do not even have any specific group of close friends (like Mandy and co). In conclusion, I am not 'having the time of my life', in my own definition.

HOWEVER, I now begin to see the whys to my questions. God is teaching me to be humble like Jesus just as I have requested by putting me in an almost unknown uni. Most, if not all, of the people here are not the kind I usually hang out with. That's lesson #1. I am taken out of my comfort zone and forced to adapt to my new surroundings.

Lesson #2, I am actually drawing nearer to God cos I AM going to church and stuff here. If I had not gone to church at all during my few months in Sg, what more if I were to be there for few years? I think I would have strayed away cos I am so attracted to the appeals of city life.

Lesson #3, I had prayed for God to give me a course He thinks is most suitable for me. He gave me E&E. And after much deliberation, I am not very sure yet but by His grace I will excel in it. So actually it's ME who asked for it.

Lesson #3, I learn to be proud that I am a UMP student. This is a humbling experience because practically nobody heard of it before and I have to explain what and where it is to everyone who asks. Then they would give me the 'owh....oh-kay' look. It was embarrassing to do that in the beginning but now I'm actually quite happy to explain to those who ask ;p

Lesson #4, I brought all these onto myself. Should I have not been so overconfident but be hardworking in Form 6, I would have been in a better place than now. Just like what I said earlier. We must walk the talk. Take actions after praying.

There are many more lessons but these are all I can think of for now.

Haha I know I sound like I'm regretting lots of things but I am actually very glad and thankful I am here (minus those annoying people and moments sometimes LOL).

I am thankful because I got to know some really nice and genuine people like Sew Heang, Yasohtha, Lih Yin, Janice, Zeno and Mr Hunt. I really treasure them cos they're simple and sincere people, unlike the many many two-faced bitches and bastards out there who always want to step on you.

I am thankful because I learn to appreciate the small and simple things in everyday life, and can see more clearly how blessed I am.

I am thankful because I am studying what deemed to others as a very good and professional course though I beg to differ in the case of the lecturers. LOL. I still think that so far only En Nik fits the 'lecturer' title. I'm not saying that just cos I like him ok.

I am thankful because I can live more comfortably financial wise since I got PTPTN and tuition fee is very cheap compared to elsewhere. Besides, the benefactors (read: parents and sisters) have been very generous. Hooray to more allowance!

So in conclusion, be careful of what you pray for. ROFLMAO!

No no, what I actually mean is that even though what we pray for is not answered (you think) doesn't mean that God is not answering. Maybe yes in certain cases but most of the time we should look at our surroundings to really realise that God IS actually answering us. Just not the kind of answer we expect but in God's own special way.

Okay I think I'm just gonna stop here. It's been a really long post eh.

Thank you for actually bothering to read this =)

Joke of the day:-

Doraemon : Jangan guna potentiometer lagi untuk part A!!!
Jessy : Huh?! Apa tu potentiometer?
*looks all over at the equipments*
Mana potentiometer tu? Ini ke?
*points at function generator*
MushyMaro : *OoO* potentiometer tu variable resistor la... -.-"
SazoRenkon: -.-"

Major omgwtfbanana situation I tell you. Damn embarassing ok! Already done dunno how many labs but still dunno what a potentiometer is.

Okay so I wanted to post up a picture of a potentiometer but bloody blogger is so sssllloooowwww. Or is it the server's fault? Hmm...whatever *shrugs* Go google it IF you really wanna know what it is :p

On a totally unrelated note, I found out today a shocking revelation! Gosh, I really don't know if I could ever look straight into theirs eyes again without disgust. Well of course I can't say what or who is it here cos after all the net is a very very dangerous place. Don't you agree? And..and to think that I...urgh! I just can't spill it out. Thank God He sent an 'angel'. LOL.

Hmm..nothing to blog actually. Just saja sign in cos the BLOODY SERVER JUST WON'T OPEN ANY OTHER SERVER EXCEPT BLOGGER. Walau eh. I guess it's fated. LOL.

Anywayy...let me bore you with my 'happenings' while I was away.

1. I've calmed down over my car incident. Lucky YOU. Haha.
2. TuaChi went for an appendix (appendicks? no pun intended ok) op the other day. She's getting better though =D
3. Jc's still mia -.-' No surprise.
4. Did quite well for NM. Praise God!
5. But did quite atrociously for EM. Oops.
6. Gained (and is still gaining) weight :O omgwtfbanana. Must really start jogging like really soon.
7. Heart Mandy, Lydia and ZuLee for being sssoooo caring. MUACKS muacks muacks :*
8. Realised that I wasn't in Shirley's 'me and ppl important to me' album on fb. Michelle and Lydia are in though. Hmm again, no surprise. *but ain't me important to yyyoouuuu?* Haha

Okay that's all I can think of right now.

Sayonara LOVESSSS

OMG I AM SSOOOO FREAKING PISSED!!!!

BLOODY YING YING CAUSED MY PRECIOUS BABY TO GET SCRATCHED. SEE IF I DON'T FUCK HER UPSIDE DOWN. SWEAR TO GOD I WILL. BITCH.

Ok so maybe that's not very sensible of me to do/say that BUT I DON'T CARE. Why oh why am I so obliging??!! I really really shouldn't have borrowed her my car ;(

But it's all too late now. Dowan kena scratch also kena scratch ed. What is there left to do except make her pay for the repainting (which she is willing to)? But now my baby is so gonna be cacat :(

GRR I AM SO ANGRY!!! Tambah pula I am itching all over after kayak.

OMG

I just realised that someone else did read my blog. *and she began to see the light* Cos someone commented on one of my posts. And to think that I didn't even realise that till now. -.-"

Like wth!!! Haha i don't know whether I should be happy or not. I mean like I've wanted to keep this as personal and unknown as possible but oh well...I've anticipated it but I guess it's just earlier than what I thought. Sigh. Does that mean that I can't write certain stuffs say like how I much I hate X anymore?

Shoo shoo~ you homo sapiens. There ain't anything here for you to feast your eyes on! LOL Obviously just kidding.....erm not? Haha ok so maybe it's just only ONE and yet here I am making such a big fuss out of it. Still...I dunno >.<

Whatever la. I got many other stuffs to worry about and btw I dunno who the hell is that commenter so I guess it doesn't really matter..(?)

Yay yay I'm gonna go kayak-ing in less than 6 hours time! Not a bad way to spend Valentine's Day eh?

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

konnichiwa!
hajimimashite.
watashi wa jess lyn desu.
UMP no gakusei desu.
semmon wa genki desu.
ni jyu nissai.
Perak kara kima shita.
dokushin desu.
dozo yoroshiku.

LOLOLOLOLLLLL...

I miss living Singapore. Like really really A LOT!!! =(

Prof Normah really annoyed me (and a whole bunch of others) to no end today.

-.-

Seriously, I've always got this uncomfortable feeling around her but today's just the last straw. And what I'm really dissatisfied about this is that even though I'm unhappy with with her I've still got to put on a big smile and act like nothing's happen in front of her. Damn torturous sia! Brr...

Back to why I'm so annoyed.

She asked us to prepare a speech outline on Tuesday and to present it today. She wanted 2 volunteers only so after Am presented his I thought that maybe I should grab the chance and present mine. Boy am I so wrong! There was something wrong with the line spacing thing and it just won't 'single-space'. Am and Bob couldn't correct it too and I just don't know why it's like that. Then all of a sudden she became so fired up and snapped "Don't waste time. Take it (pendrive) out. Next!". I swear everyone's like "Huh wtf. What's happening?"

Damn it. What's wrong with her??!! It's not even time's up yet. Why can't she just correct me on my points and format? Why is the bloody line spacing so important that just because of that she refuses to look at my outline? I felt like shite. I mean like who wouldn't after being rejected like that right? For an invalid reason sammo! brr...

But I wasn't the only one feeling that way (prove that it's not me! haha). Later on Flower, Liana, Nabilah, Mariati and Ming Jie was also like "What the hell is wrong with her?!" Haih. And it's not only this time. Even in our previous lectures she's always all high and mighty. Just because she has a Prof in front of her name? Dang, dah lah I always do badly in my assessments....I dread knowing my marks. =(

Really hope that she has nothing against me and that she probably just had a bad day. PMS perhaps? Hehe

Anywayyyy....

I'm really sick and tired of all the silly remarks of Soon and the gang. Like seriously....GROW UP!! They have been teasing me and Ah Piow mercilessly since beginning of this sem. And today!!! Piow and I was talking in front and then all of a sudden someone called me and him. We turned back to find....THE WHOLE BUNCH OF THEM WITH THEIR PHONE CAMERA PHONE WAITING IN POSITION TO SNAP A PICTURE OF US TOGETHER!!! Walau eh...I dunno whether to be angry or to laugh! Cis

It's funny in the beginning but when the same kind of shit repeat everyday you kinda get fed up with it, ya know?

I hereby declare that there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING going on between me and Ah Piow. Not in the past, not now, and definitely not in future! Brr..

Why can't we all just be normal friends and..and talk bout how-are-yous and what's-going-on. Seems like each time they open their mouth to talk to me all which came out is Piow-this and Piow-that. Get a life!

Hmph!

I'm not worried and couldn't care less in the beginning but their incessant teasings are getting overboard. I'm just worried that SOMETHING will become out of NOTHING. Get what I mean?

Lets just hope that we'll all get over it soon.

Now gotta rush off for my reports and assignments. Ahem *shifty eyes*

Oyasumi nasai!

like seriously.....

MALAYSIAN POLITICS SHOULD GET THE BEST COMEDY OF THE YEAR

-.-

Gosh I should really REALLY go get myself a new mouse. My current one is driving me crazy!!! Haha it's so true how a woman will try to save as much as possible on something that she needs but splurge on nonsensical items. I have wanted (needed) a new mouse for the longest time I could remember but because a good one costs RM30-40++ I decided that I might as well save the money since my mouse is still usable unless it's having a bad day. But now...it always crank up and doesn't click/hold properly. And it's not even that old. Hmph! Lousy LG!

I'm halfway through The Diary Of A young Girl now. Up to the part I am now, I feel that I can relate to Anne quite well. Especially how I can't seem to get along with my mother and sisters. Unlike her, I don't have many tiffs with them since I'm away from home now. But what bothers me much is that I've been having this feeling for quite some time up till now; at age 21 years+ 9 months. And Anne is 13 years old. wtfbanana -.-"

Now you tell me, is it normal for one to be feeling like that at my age? Well to be fair I do not dislike them, I just....I don't know how to describe it, but neither do I love them to death. Geddit? Omg if anyone reads this I'm sooo gonna be in trouble. It'll be a major WTF. Haha. Gawd...can laugh sammo. I guess it's no one's fault cos it's kinda mutual. They do not say it but I think deep down we all know there's something not right. It's just like how jc and i know that there's something wrong with tc and yet none of us wanna confront it. Like totally wtf man.

I really wonder what the future holds for us all. What is going to be of us? I don't know man....I really don't and sometimes, just sometimes, I don't even dare think about it.

I feel like I'm at the point of my life where I really need to figure out lotsa things but I just don't know how. The foundation on which I grew up on seem to have lost its hold on me more and more each day. Feels like shit most of the time and trust me, it ain't much fun. And this now brings me o another thought. Could it be possible that the devil's playing with my thoughts? Lord, I pray that You'll give me the strength to get through this phase. It better be just a phase....I hope *cross fingers

Oh yea! Before I forgot...My second impromptu speech assessment was on The Importance Of My Family In My life. Like wtfbanana. Why must they pick this kind of topic??!! Sentimental and personal is not exactly my forte. Needless to say I did like shit. No idea why I was so nervous I could get a heart attack. Brr. It's so damn frustrating le....I'm the one who's suppose to have the best command of English but my speech was the worst! So fail! I don't know why but when it comes to my turn, I sorta went blank. Why is it so easy for the rest to talk about their families so lovingly but not me? Even my language skill couldn't help me. This may sound weird but I'm really sad....cos it feels like it makes not much of a difference even if I ain't got one!

JESSY IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP TO REALITY AND NOT DWELL ON FANTASIES ANYMORE!!! YOU'RE GONNA BE 22 YEARS SOON FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! STOP BEING SO CHILDISH AND START ACTING LIKE AN ADULT!!!

But I don't wanna act like an adult...I want to BE an adult.

Guess I am one troubled girl eh? Hope tomorrow's not any worse.

I ..... am lost for words. Writer's block eh?

Gosh it's been quite long since I last blogged and do I miss blogging....NOT!

Haha I guess I'm just not a writing person. I can write well, no problem, but to write creatively...man I just suck at that.

Hmm...Zeno still haven't given up on asking me bout this (blog). Why am I so secretive le? Gosh I myself dunno but for now I just don't feel like letting anyone into my 'world' yet cos all my entries so far are damn emo and quite personal >.<

This is what UMP does to you. Lol.

ANYWAY, I'm really not into the mood to write/blog so I shall just end here.

p/s: I did atrociously for me second impromptu speech. Fail sia..... -.-"