hop in and enjoy the ride

Gosh I should really REALLY go get myself a new mouse. My current one is driving me crazy!!! Haha it's so true how a woman will try to save as much as possible on something that she needs but splurge on nonsensical items. I have wanted (needed) a new mouse for the longest time I could remember but because a good one costs RM30-40++ I decided that I might as well save the money since my mouse is still usable unless it's having a bad day. But now...it always crank up and doesn't click/hold properly. And it's not even that old. Hmph! Lousy LG!

I'm halfway through The Diary Of A young Girl now. Up to the part I am now, I feel that I can relate to Anne quite well. Especially how I can't seem to get along with my mother and sisters. Unlike her, I don't have many tiffs with them since I'm away from home now. But what bothers me much is that I've been having this feeling for quite some time up till now; at age 21 years+ 9 months. And Anne is 13 years old. wtfbanana -.-"

Now you tell me, is it normal for one to be feeling like that at my age? Well to be fair I do not dislike them, I just....I don't know how to describe it, but neither do I love them to death. Geddit? Omg if anyone reads this I'm sooo gonna be in trouble. It'll be a major WTF. Haha. Gawd...can laugh sammo. I guess it's no one's fault cos it's kinda mutual. They do not say it but I think deep down we all know there's something not right. It's just like how jc and i know that there's something wrong with tc and yet none of us wanna confront it. Like totally wtf man.

I really wonder what the future holds for us all. What is going to be of us? I don't know man....I really don't and sometimes, just sometimes, I don't even dare think about it.

I feel like I'm at the point of my life where I really need to figure out lotsa things but I just don't know how. The foundation on which I grew up on seem to have lost its hold on me more and more each day. Feels like shit most of the time and trust me, it ain't much fun. And this now brings me o another thought. Could it be possible that the devil's playing with my thoughts? Lord, I pray that You'll give me the strength to get through this phase. It better be just a phase....I hope *cross fingers

Oh yea! Before I forgot...My second impromptu speech assessment was on The Importance Of My Family In My life. Like wtfbanana. Why must they pick this kind of topic??!! Sentimental and personal is not exactly my forte. Needless to say I did like shit. No idea why I was so nervous I could get a heart attack. Brr. It's so damn frustrating le....I'm the one who's suppose to have the best command of English but my speech was the worst! So fail! I don't know why but when it comes to my turn, I sorta went blank. Why is it so easy for the rest to talk about their families so lovingly but not me? Even my language skill couldn't help me. This may sound weird but I'm really sad....cos it feels like it makes not much of a difference even if I ain't got one!

JESSY IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP TO REALITY AND NOT DWELL ON FANTASIES ANYMORE!!! YOU'RE GONNA BE 22 YEARS SOON FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! STOP BEING SO CHILDISH AND START ACTING LIKE AN ADULT!!!

But I don't wanna act like an adult...I want to BE an adult.

Guess I am one troubled girl eh? Hope tomorrow's not any worse.